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Marriage Issue
I hope you are fine.
My brother and I love the same sisters (I love the younger one and my elder brother loves the elder sister).
My mother and father with their mutual consent set a date for my brother’s engagement and they both were ok with it, but after a year or so (both families started having misunderstandings) my mother totally cut off with the other family and she started behaving rudely and arrogant. After a few months, my brother got married and my mother did not participate in the wedding nor my sister. It was only me, my father and the groom (my brother). My father got the couple (my brother and his wife) settled in our other’s house (15 kilometers from the main city) and that house is in my mother’s name. Although my father bought the house, it got registered on my mother’s name. As soon as my mother got to know the truth about where my brother and his wife were living, my mother started pressuring them to evacuate the house. Then after my brother’s wedding my father’s terms with the in-laws got worse too. My father did not fulfill the commitment of Gold. My mother insulted my brother’s wife and her family on multiple occasions. Presently, my mother is so stubborn, she says she doesn’t want to see her face and her family as well. Now I have been trying since past 2 years to persuade my family (especially my mother) to get the relationship reconciled with the other family and help me get married to the younger sister. She doesn’t want to do that and is not giving any logical reason. She is saying she doesn’t want to see their faces. Presently, my sister-in-law (my brother’s wife) talked to her father and got him to agree to my marriage proposal (I and that younger sister). If I do that, I have to leave this house too. I don’t care about the material things, the house or anything. I just want my parents to participate in the marriage. I want us all to live together. I don’t want to leave my parents alone and get married, but my parents are on the wrong side. I want to be with them in their senectitude (old age). I want to serve them but they are not leaving me any option, I am very confused and my health (mental as well as physical) is being compromised. I can’t focus on my career. I need help on what to do. I have tried everything to persuade her but she is so stubborn and egoistic.
I would appreciate it very much if you guide me sincerely.
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5 Replies
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Marriage Issue
updated 2 years, 3 months ago
4 Members
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5
Replies
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You can contact shehzad.saleem99@gmail.com for advice in this regard. He is an expert in conflict resolution in families.
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Only way to contact him via email?
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If he prefers, he can give you his phone number too. He generally responds in 1-4 days. Since he’s on a book tour it may take a little longer.
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Brother Ali. Your story is fairly common in Pakistan except two brother and two sisters situation.
To my knowledge of Islam, you must always respect and care for your parents, but you never take their side when they are doing things against the teachings of Islam. We all must take the side of right (as described in Quran) regardless of our relationship. This is the only way we can eliminate sins from our society.
Judge the conflict between the two families strictly in the light of Allah’s teachings and take the side of right regardless of consequences. Trust Allah when you are doing the right thing. Tell your parents respectfully in the light of Quran why they are wrong. Tell them over and over again if necessary. If still they put them in such a situation to cut off from both sons, then it is their free will and they should be prepared to handle the consequences. Still never disrespect them and always try to do everything for them within the limits of Islamic guidance.
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