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Is It Obligatory For Women To Obey Her Husband In All Matters?
I have listened that scholars and our traditional people says
It’s obligatory for women to obey her husband no matter what,
They give references from Qur’an and hadith
The matter of Qur’an the far I learned and read it to understand
The word used was “qanit ” there it oftenly use for a submitted worshiper of Allah wether male or female,,
But people say no that word was used in order for women to be obeying her husband
There’s also a hadith people says,
“If a women do fast , pray give times a day and give zakat and do obey her husband she’ll go to Jannah by any door she wants “( mafhum) 👆
I want to know what’s the reality of order in it,,
That’s how people do oppression in our community and alot ,,
Can you please elaborate about the matter above ,,
It’s confusing and unsatisfactory to even not being able to understand,,
Jazakallah
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28 Replies
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Is It Obligatory For Women To Obey Her Husband In All Matters?
updated 1 year, 3 months ago
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Please refer to the following videos:
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Jazakallah I have seen both videos
I want to know about the hadith I mentioned and the obligation of obeying I mentioned above,,
What’s the view of ghamdi SB ?
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This is a authentic hadith
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خُمُسَهَا وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا وَحَصَّنَتْ فَرْجَهَا وَأَطَاعَتْ بَعْلَهَا دَخَلَتْ مِنْ أَيِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ شَاءَتْ
4163 صحيح ابن حبان
9/471 المحدث شعيب الأرناؤوط خلاصة حكم المحدث صحيح في تخريج صحيح ابن حبان
It is obligatory for women to obey her husband, not like a slave but as his being the head of the family.
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So if a husband says to her wife to not to create her career?? Then
There are alot of things husband says to their wife’s and they never treat their wife as they are head of a family but they treat them like slaves and do want same thing from them,,
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And too ghamdi SB didn’t said it clearly??
Like he said a woman shouldn’t spread evil when Allah has given the responsibility of house to man…
And also what does it actually meant to obey as the head of the house but not as a slave,,
What’s the difference,, 🤔
Like is it about he can take decisions for house but not for individuals of the house ,??
Isn’t it’ll take individuality from the members of the house ,
Like mostly man don’t care about the members individual choice , in past era atleast they didn’t, they say ” as it is obligatory for women to obey her husband” so it’s a necessity which shall be done,,
And also a scholar told about the another ayat on it
He told it’s about the sexual need
That she shall obey him at that time,
It’s not about the normal regular and daily engagements and choices,,
Can you plz elaborate and explain above,,,,
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Marital life is not just about rules. It is about compassion. Being in authority increases responsibility. If this authority is used to enslave others it ruined the pleasure of marital life. The people accept authority only when it is caring. When a husband makes a demand he should support it with logic and arguments not just a command to satisfy his ego.
House is an institute that needs a head. Others obey him the way members or employees of an institute obey the rules of authority. It is not servitude but necessary compliance.
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Then is it about obeying on the matters of house after discussing it in between
Or it will be obligatory to obey on Individual level ,,
Don’t everyone have a right to take decisions for themselves???
Or it is not allowed after marriage for a woman
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They should discuss it, keeping in mind the status of head of the family.
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And what about people who narrate hadiths about women not fasting without permission of her husband or not going out without permission of her husband ,,
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Fasting includes abstinence from physical relation between husband and wife. So a woman can decide in her circumstances that she should let her husband know that she would be fasting and not avaialbe for intimacy during the day.
In the second case, etiquettes demands that her absence must be in her husband’s knowledge.
The problem is the way to tell these etiquettes in terms of rules as if it is between master and slave. It is rather between two responsible people who know their limits and responsibilities.
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This is the explaination of the ayat I have camed across along time ago while learning about Islam,, kindly read it out fully,, and also I have never camed across any ayat which states as it is obligation nor did I heared any hadith which explain this obligation,
Kindly read it out below and answer me,
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Look at these
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This is no way to determine the meaning of a word. The word Qanitaat means obedient. it can be obedient to God and obedient to Husband or to parents, depending upon the subject it refers to.
If one denies to take it obedient to husband, the next phrase comes فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ which leaves no room but obedience or compliance. It means if they obey you.
Other words are twisted too in translation. For details you can consult the translation and interpretation of Ghamidi saheb here
https://www.javedahmedghamidi.org/#!/quran?chapter=4¶graph=24&type=Ghamidi
You have our view and now you can decide.
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The whole scheme of marriage is based on Man being the head of the family and that is why he has been given authoritative rights. He can divorce, but if a woman needs to get divorced, she demands it, but can’t divorce. After given divorce man has the authority to revoke it without her consent within the waiting period:
وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُوا إِصْلَاحًا
however, if she does not want to join him, she can ask for Khula.
Man is obliged to spend on her, but woman is not obliged to do the same.
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Jazakallah for correcting my view,, but if a man and woman do decide their system of house between in themselves before making it a house , like both agreeing upon supporting the family financially together or not limiting each others for individual decisions than is it a sin or not allowed?
I want to ask that bcz a scholar says it’s a norm in these days where people of house do their chores with unity wether it’s financial or martial,
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Yes, of course, rather they should do that. a woman can add or demand certain conditions in the marriage contract and also after marriage, they should find ways to run the affairs smoothly, taking care of each other and respecting each other.
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Ut won’t it violate the obligation Allah has set upon women,, like if a man’s wife is prideful not in means of (takabbur) but general pride that people have also called as self esteem, anyway and a women is like that she is loving but she is so tough that she don’t even is able to show love properly but she do care but when someone do impose something on her as she is caring yet she is so much stubborn at point when someone do play authority over her, what should a husband do? And also if she do understand and try her best to please her partner but at the same time she got her that personality that she can’t go against, so will it violate the rule or obligation that Allah has set upon her ? Bcz she is stubborn and has her own standards and principles which she don’t change (which are not bad or annoying Islamically) so what should a woman do, should she always keep her personality, ambitions ,goals, standars, and principles,Nd rules which she have lived by till now?? Its confusing kindly help me,
Won’t it violate the obligation
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If it’s about taking it smoothy while not crushing eachothers principles Nd personality then where is the authority of man? There are plenty of people who make their house run like partners do they don’t play authority over eachother but they do respect eachothers means and opinions ,,,, but my question is if a husband and wife do work like partners as they are and the house has no problems and going smoothly then what is the point of authority of man??? Like he is having no authority here’,, is it injustice to him? Or if he is pleased and satisfied with the system of his house???
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Authority does not mean to act like a master all the time. It appears at times of conflict or in the matters of administration of the house, when there is a need to make a final decision is some matter. Daily matters are run with mutual consultation, care, and respect.
If they feel not compatible with each other due to differences in aptitude, they may choose to give each other more space. Man can hand over his authority or a portion of his authority to his woman. The authority of man is not the order of God. It is natural and God endorsed it.
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If it ain’t the order of god than why it’s obligatory to obey one’s husband???
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If man does not want it, there remains no obligation.
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I see, but if a man wants it,?? And other way around too like if it is not an obligation than why people don’t let other person be a head of the house, specially in joint families,,, will it be a sin upon women for not obeying hwr husband ,, but a husband is also a human he can be wrong too
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It is not an order of god but the Allah did supported upon it ,, isn’t it?? Like can a woman be head of the state ,,, or it is also not allowed, the far scholar I know they keep saying that a woman can’t be a queen of the state , if she does so the state won’t be successful ,,, and they mentions it through a hadith ,,,
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You are back to square one.
Man being head of family is natural and thus social. Man is more suitable to be head of a family. When he is the head, the other party is to obey him. Obedience is not like that of a slave but a partner in subordination. This is what God endorsed.
A woman as a head of the state is a separate matter. She can be the head of a state. She is subordinate to her husband in her house, not to all the men of the society. She can be their boss.
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So in martial life can she be head of house???? ,
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yes, if the husband agrees.
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I see , jazakallah for the answer, you cleared my confusions ,, jazakallah
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