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  • Striking Sister For Correcting Behaviour

    Posted by Taimur Mughal on February 8, 2024 at 3:54 pm

    Asalaam alaikum

    my question is as follows; My father is no longer alive and I am the eldest son of the family.

    I have other small sibilings. My sister of 20 years old she is lately doing very insulting behaviour towards my mother and us all.

    She is practicing muslim but the problem is I have seen her doing some haraam stuff at least according to what I know ; which is getting too much free with her brother in law and not respecting haya boundries. So first I was telling her with words to correct herself and stay in huduud. Next when I noticed after a while she is not listening I raised my voice and tried that way. Then after a little time I saw she still wasnt correcting her ways, I went to her room and asked her her phone to show me immediately.

    She did a lot of disrespect and then I lost my temper and I slapped her three times and pushed her away and forcfully took her phone.

    Is it in Islam allowed for the bigger brother who is now in the place of the father for his sibilings to slap and correct their behaviours? Does the bigger brother has rights as the father has? As a father figure? Can we strike our loved ones to correct them if they are showing sinful ways?

    Is the bigger brother responsible now for to check what his sisters are doing in private lifes to keep them in check and on the right path?

    Kindly shed your light on this.

    Because I heard that I did wrong and I have no right to correct them or command them. And that I thought that Islam allows the one in authority to strike a little if its need has become urgently.

    Thank you.

    Umer replied 9 months, 2 weeks ago 2 Members · 2 Replies
  • 2 Replies
  • Striking Sister For Correcting Behaviour

    Umer updated 9 months, 2 weeks ago 2 Members · 2 Replies
  • Umer

    Moderator February 9, 2024 at 5:24 am

    As far as the authority in the house is concerned: Eldest son does not have an authority over her younger sister, the headship/authority of the house, in the absence of the father goes to the mother. Sons can help and contribute with their mother in fulfilling her role as the head of the house, but they cannot replace her as their head. Therefore, if a son finds something which seems upsetting regarding any of his siblings, they should bring the matter to the knowledge of their mother and it is the mother who will decide what could be the most appropriate step to be taken in this regard. Eldest son does not have a right to physically hit his siblings. Yes they can do counselling and dawah of their youger siblings in their capacity as elder brothers but they cannot hit their siblings.

    As far as physically beating children is concerned: There is no religious guidance in this regard, rather this is something which needs to done very carefully after giving due regard to the age, mental maturity and psychology of the children. Current studies indicate that this habitual behaviour of beating children is counter productive in their personality development.

    __

    Authority in the house in the absence of Father:

    https://youtu.be/ljcvCHeaa6g?si=0Uk8tKPpDjHHMEen

  • Umer

    Moderator February 9, 2024 at 5:25 am

    Physically beating children:

    Please refer to the following video from 00:55 to 4:30

    https://youtu.be/YZbZexPa1wo?si=SNG0XCR90Vnurshq&t=55

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