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Maternal Aunt, Her Daughter , Privacy Of Our Home And My Marriage
My maternal grandparents had 5 daughters without any son. 40 years ago they decided to marry their elder daughter to my father and told him to be resident son-in-law (Ghar Jamai in indian context) to take care of the house and look after the family and in return all the property will be awarded to my father and mother.
My grandparents with contributions of my father (i.e, their son-in-law) married remaining 4 daughters. Unfortunately, one of their daughter (my maternal aunt) got divorced with a baby girl. She was very quarrelsome and disliked my father. Since she and her daughter came back to her parents house i.e, our house , after divorce, way back 29 years ago, she stated fighting with my mother and father on regular basis – as we lived in joint family. Years passed by and then she demanded a share from the property. Although my grandparents had made an oath that they will give all property to my mother and resident son-in-law in return of their look after. But my grandfather was under pressure to break the promise. My grandmother actually supported that the property be given to my divorced aunt. My parents agreed as they had no other option. She was given 1/5 th share, and rest to my father and mother (they were 5 siblings , three are well settled, one got divorced, another one is my mother)
My father constructed a new house and took care of my maternal grandparents there. But since my aunt and her daughter lives very closely to our new house, she and her daughter doesn’t stay in their own house but constantly come to our house. They comes in morning and stays for full day in our house except few hours when they eats from their house. They even sleeps at night in our house and uses all the items / things as per their wishes. i.e, out of 24 hours, they hardly stay for 4 hours in their own house. But rest of the time they stay in our house only. This has been happening from past 3 years. It started when my aunt got ill and initially we looked after her, but then she and her daughter never left from our house. We feel our privacy is violated. And I told her many times to stay in her own house but she never does. My maternal grandmother however supports they stay with us. My maternal grandmother dislikes my father and vice versa. She even favours her divorced daughter’s daughter over my sisters. Situation has become bad. I am yet unmarried but when i am married I think my aunts and her daughter’s presence in our house will bring extra strain in our social fabric. Add to this situation is the insistence of my grandmother that my I get married to the daughter of my aunt , but I refuse as I don’t see her as my future wife. But my grandmother keeps on pressing for it. I feel angry at my grandmother for this.
I also get angry at my aunt and sometimes scold her and tell her to stay in her own house with her daughter. But she never does. She doesn’t care.
Do I become sinful if I scold her especially when she doesn’t stay in her house despite many requests ? What necessary steps should I take?
How can i convince my grandmother that I don’t want to get married to my cousin?
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2 Replies
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Maternal Aunt, Her Daughter , Privacy Of Our Home And My Marriage
updated 1 month, 1 week ago
2 Members
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2
Replies
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This is not a religious problem. This is your domestic or family problem to be solved with mutual consultation. If you can’t convince them Yiu can live somewhere else separately after marriage.
One should be respectful to elders and when one disagree with them, one should tell them respectfully.
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I think one can get a solution to the problem based on Islamic guidelines. The problem is my aunt doesn’t stay in her own house despite many repeated requests. This has led me to scold her often. But she never listens. She keeps on invading the privacy of our house with consent of my grandmother and mother. Rest of the family members don’t feel comfortable over her continuous presence in our house. Her way of talking loudly and other habits irritate us. My question is what is it’s solution in light of Quran and Hadith?
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