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Reality Of Marriage (Haqeeqat Of Marriage)
If a couple decides before marriage that they will live and respect each other till the end but they are yet not ready for the intimacy or closeness a marriage has to offer by time they might decide otherwise but are not sure yet themselves if they happen not to then they’ll live as they have decided to live at first without expecting anything more than that would this condition go against the haqeeqat of marriage?
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8 Replies
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Reality Of Marriage (Haqeeqat Of Marriage)
updated 2 days, 3 hours ago
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8
Replies
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Nikkah needs to be entered with the intention of permanent companionship as a couple with certain rights and obligations as agreed upon at the time of Nikkah. Delaying Intimacy or having children with mutual consensus is a matter between husband and wife, but if the intention at the time of Nikkah is not permanent companionship, then that would go against the reality of Nikkah.
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At the time of nikah both of the parties agree that they would forever be together but they would delay intimacy until both of them are ready one of the agreement is that if both of them or one of them are not ready till the end then the other would respect their decision while fulfilling other rights of each other as decided before would this be against reality of marriage
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As replied earlier Islam respects mutual consensus and understanding but for this case both parties will need to ensure that they won’t cross the sacred boundaries that comes with marriage including but not limited to the point that one might look in the wrong direction(outside the marriage) for fulfilling the intimacy needs or adopt such practices of intimacy which are forbidden. Because ultimately Nikkah is the halal way to fulfill the human need and desire of intimacy, not fulfilling it might open a channel for Satan to use.
People in Pakistan usually thinks that intimacy is the requirement for Walima ceremony which is a misconception and does not make sense in arrange marriages where 2 unknown people engage with each other. Knowing each other becomes the necessity and baseline for intimacy depending upon the person to person. So if one feels like they need sometime then nothing is wrong with it.
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“case both parties will need to ensure that they won’t cross the sacred boundaries that comes with marriage including”
Can you elaborate this? Apart from fulfilling their sexual needs outside marriage are there any other boundaries that comes with marriage and Islam teaches them?
Also would this be seen in the sense of surah Nisa ayat 29 leaving her hanging? (I’m not asking this question about two marriages just applying that scenario in this case)
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I used sacred boundaries term here in context of the question and with focus on intimacy. Apart from intimacy here are few things that comes to my mind.
1. Respect and dignity
2. Privacy
3. Financial obligations
4. Non neglect of rights, emotional or physical
5. Faithfulness and loyalty
I think its Surah Nisa Ayat 129 that you are referring. You are right, Its for having justice between 2 wives but even for single wife both husband/wife should not leave each other hanging as this thing relates to the emotions of oneself either husband or wife.
In verse 128, Quran mentions “Humans are ever inclined to selfishness”, so one must have an excellent character and discipline to keep balance. So that’s what i was trying to say that consensual intimacy is required but if its prolonged, it might disturb the emotional balance for either of the persons involved and one might incline to the selfishness.
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Surah baqrah ayat 226
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Surah baqrah ayat 226 states Those who swear not to have intercourse with their wives must wait for four months.1 If they change their mind, then Allah is certainly All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
This concept of ila would this apply to the situation as mentioned above?
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That part specifically highlights one sided decisions either taken by men or women. Below are some links.
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