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Unfair Life Leading To Unfair Test Among People
If one woman is born into a stable, loving family, is physically attractive, and later marries a kind and stable man, while another woman is born into a very difficult life—she is not considered attractive, comes from an unstable and unsupportive family, and is an orphan—then their lives are clearly unequal from the beginning. The second woman has suffered much more throughout her life, while the first woman’s life has been relatively comfortable. However, neither of them chose the circumstances they were born into; those circumstances were already decided by Allah. It is often said that a person who suffers more will be rewarded more. If that is the case, then the second woman will receive a greater reward simply because her life was harder. But how is it fair to the first woman, who did not choose to be born into easier circumstances and is now rewarded less for something that was never her decision? On the other hand, it is also said that people will be rewarded based on merit—how they lived their lives and how well they fulfilled their responsibilities. If both women lived morally good lives and performed equally well as individuals, then they would be rewarded equally. But if they are rewarded equally, then how is it fair to the second woman, who endured far more suffering yet received the same reward? So if reward is based on suffering, the first woman seems unfairly disadvantaged. If reward is based on merit alone, the second woman seems unfairly treated. Since neither chose their starting point in life, how is ultimate reward determined in a way that is truly just?
Please don’t respond with phrases like “Allah will decide” or “there will be justice.” I’m trying to understand the logic, not receive reassurance. My life has been relatively stable and comfortable. When I look around at my friends, many of them have had extremely difficult lives—especially those whose struggles started in childhood. When hardship is constant from such an early age, it’s unrealistic to expect that person to naturally develop healthy coping or emotional regulation tools. Many of them remain stuck, or eventually need therapy just to function. In that context, telling someone things like “don’t worry, life will get better” or “stay strong” feels empty and dismissive. It ignores the long-term psychological damage caused by years of instability and suffering. What I genuinely want to understand is this: how do people logically make sense of unequal lives where some are given stability and safety, while others are given prolonged hardship that limits their ability to grow in the same way? How do we think about responsibility, growth, and outcomes when the starting conditions are so unequal? -
6 Replies
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Unfair Life Leading To Unfair Test Among People
updated 1 month, 1 week ago
3 Members
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6
Replies
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what we know from Quran is ” on the day of judgment there will be no injustice” so I am sure if the person deserve good it will be according to their suffering in this world. I wont burden myself with such things because its beyond my knowledge, control and comprehension.
From materialistic perspective, people can overcome their circumstances and can be more than what they were born into based on their own abilities. Again something beyond our control. As a society, we can work towards such opportunities which eliminate any differences due to background so any one who wants to grow themselves they have opportunity for them to do so,
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There could be many mechanisms in which Allah evens out both cases.
You’re asking for the exact mechanism, which we don’t know, actually. We can think of some of them, but there could be many other ways that we can’t even comprehend, just as we can’t comprehend each detail of life, that all Allah knows.
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For instance, people who face immense hardships might get away even if they show little endurance while people who are blessed in this world might get caught due to little mistake. etc etc
Another point into consideration should be that we can’t categorically state how easy or difficult life is for someone just based on their overall outlook. For instance, a person with extreme endurance might make a big tragedy look normal (doesn’t get that hurt), but at the same time there could be a person who (in our view faced a minor tragedy), but for the person itself, it had the same effect as if it was a big tragedy,
So, just to reassure ourselves, it is NOT that there isn’t a mechanism (i.e. it is not logically impossible) just because we as humans can’t think of one.
Just as we can’t comprehend each detail of life, we can’t comprehend how each one of us will be compensated.
While Allah knows all and can do everything,
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You mentioned that some people may appear to suffer more or less depending on their endurance, and that we cannot judge hardship from the outside.But isn’t endurance itself something a person is given?For example, I myself have faced many difficulties in life — situations that dragged me to my limits. Yet somehow, I always managed to get through them. I don’t know how, but I naturally tend to have an optimistic outlook. I’m not saying this to brag — I’m genuinely confused.I’ve seen other people around me who cannot move forward from their pain. They remain stuck, keep crying over their situations, or sometimes even harm others because they never developed emotional resilience — especially those who had toxic or traumatic childhoods.So my question is: if resilience, emotional stability, and optimism are themselves unequal gifts, then how is moral accountability measured fairly?If two people face hardship, but one has the inner strength to recover and the other does not — and that strength was not chosen by either of them — then how is reward purely merit-based?And what about someone who, due to severe childhood trauma, genuinely never developed healthy coping mechanisms and ends up harming others out of emotional damage? How is that evaluated?I sometimes even feel that maybe my path was easier internally — that I always “figured out a way” — and therefore I may receive less reward unless I do something exceptional. While someone else who simply survives their broken reality might be rewarded more just for existing as they are.How does justice operate when even internal psychological tools are unequally distributed?
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Again, I will reiterate. The unequal distribution of emotions to tackle hardships can easily be evened out. As I mentioned before, things like Ilm, Amal, Istata’at will be taken into consideration. I will say again, you can not even categorically say about yourself that you can easily bear hardships every single time (with the Grace of Allah ofc), it might appear that it was easy but maybe Allah saw alot of resilience inside you and wanted to bless you with endurance for the specific tragedy while in others you genuinely had the natural tendency from Allah to overcome easily. So, you see, you can think of thousands of such examples that go both ways without us realising.
Reaffirming: If Allah has given you immense endurance (through dua’s or natural tendency), you should fulfil it ’till the very end’ (InshaAllah, one would get an exceptional reward for it). Likewise, if someone is not blessed with it (can’t get out of their childhood trauma), they will be rewarded according to their Istata’at. (How much they endured given their circumstances/emotions)
And, in the case where we actually realise that Allah has blessed us with something from the start or at any stage. So, for instance, if I’m making a good amount of money that many people take 10 years to accumulate. Then, yes, it’s on me to look for ways to spend a good part of it in the Way of Allah.
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JazakAllah khair
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