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Prostrate To The Husband
There in a Hadees in Ibn e Maja (1853):
“If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands.”
Doesn’t it show that the husband has extraordinary, innate precedence over wife? Why is it so?
And is this Riwayat authentic?
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16 Replies
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Prostrate To The Husband
updated 2 years, 8 months ago
6 Members
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16
Replies
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Well, that riwayat certainly indicates extraordinary precedence.
I don’t know about the riwayat’s strength.
But we know that men and women are not equal, certainly not husband and wife. Husbands have precedence over wives because they have greater responsibilities than wives.
Today’s women would cry all they want, about women’s rights, but they would dare not talk about women’s responsibilities. Rights are given in proportion to responsibilities in any field of the world.
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So when we say that the wife is free to do jobs and the husband can’t stop her, or has full authority over her money or jewelry or other possessions and the husband can’t use her possessions without her consent, and so on. So, I can’t see any precedence in any matter. The wife must be loyal to his husband, and so must the husband. I can’t find anything where the husband has been given some extra rights.
So in what particular matter is the precedence?
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A husband does not own his wife. So what is hers is hers. Precedence doesn’t mean ownership.
Ghamidi sahab also said this many times, whether she wants to do job or not is to be decided by their mutual understanding. But the final decision has to be with the husband, not the wife. Someone has to have the final say, if the wife has to have the final say, then she should be given more responsibilities than her husband as well…
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This is not about precedence or power. If we understand this in the scheme of God, it makes perfect sense.
God has decided to grant humans an eternal life of joy and comfort based on a rather difficult challenge called life. He has further decided to send humans to this world through the process of procreation. This gives a very interesting spin to our test. We get bound by bonds of kinship, and it creates another dimension of the test for everyone involved.
Our greatest bond is with our Creator, and closest next is with our parents. The most important aspect of these bonds is that of sustenance. Both our Creator, as well as our parents help us sustain life on earth which is necessary for us to be able take our tests. This in turn requires us to hold both God and our parents (in that order) at respective levels of higher status in our lives.
Similarly, when a couple decides to get married, God places the responsibility of providing sustenance for the entire family upon the man. The woman may choose to earn a living as well, but she’s not compelled to do so. Even if she does, she’s not required to contribute anything to her family. For the great burden of helping an entire family sustain life on earth, the man (husband) is also granted a degree higher in status.
When we understand and appreciate this entire scheme, everything falls in place and we no longer look at this subject from the perspective of superiority of one gender over another, but rather from the perspective of rights and responsibilities of husbands and wives.
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JazakAllah khair
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You elegantly answered it … I am quite a blunt person when it comes to the discussion about “women’s rights”. If women were equal to men, they would not have to ask or demand rights from men ever, they would simply take them by power, because it is assumed that they have power equaln to men.
That is why I see those “women’s rights” arguments as deceptive and disrespectful to men.
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They’re not wrong in entirety though, women are, in fact, deprived of some of the basic human rights especially in Sindh. If someone’s raising a voice for them, I don’t see why it’s wrong.
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But @faisalharoon , isn’t prostration a bit extreme?
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of course it is extreme. That is wht no one is to prostrate to anyone.
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I guess he meant that “if” it were allowed, still isn’t it too much precedence?
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you automatically assume that as women are oppressed in many places, it is too much to ask from a woman, and I would agree with agree with you on this.
I would never say to, for example, a woman in sindh, that she is supposed to prostate to her husband if it were to be allowed… That is nonsense.
If you remove the nonsense associated with many cultures, it is infact a lot that a man has to deal with, to take care and provide for his family. A man can easily take on the day to day chores that women tend to, apart from child care and periods. But a woman can never go through what men go through daily, neither are they capable of it. I am talking about the general condition, not exceptions.
But today we live in a rather increasingly man-shaming culture, so these things cannot be easily digested today, especially by women.
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I apologise for insisting- but the original question remains: is the Hadith that talks about prostration to the husband authentic?
Jaza’kAllah for the answer.
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Please see:
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If a woman wants to do a job but her husband isn’t willing to allow her. Is she bound to follow her husband? Or she has the authority to do so anyway?
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If she listens to her husband, that is what Islam demands of her.
If she wants to behave however she wants, she better not ask the husaband to take care of her and protect her. Instead she should assume the leadership of the household. One institution can’t have two descision makers. It would lead to anarchy and chaos.
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