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Parents Rights And Duties
If a mother left her child with paternal relatives when she was just two years old and the child never saw her mother again. If all of a sudden after decades her mother tries to contact her then is the child obliged to make contact with her mother, what about the rights and duties of the mother and child of this kind?
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3 Replies
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Parents Rights And Duties
updated 4 years, 4 months ago
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Replies
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It is very difficult to comment on this specific situation and people involved without knowing the complete detail but some things can be said as principles in this matter:
1. The relationship between mother and child is eternal and does not go away because of such or other circumstances.
2. We are asked to be kind and merciful to our parents. Quran recall the pain and sacrifice that mother goes through in the birth and early stages of childhood. That’s the main reason we are asked to be kind with them in return, specially with mother. (31:14)
3. Quran declared that good and bad deeds are not equal in their reward and we are asked to repel the bad with the one that is better (41:34).
4. Even when parents are involved in a heinous act like Shirk, we are asked to be friendly with them according to the norms of the culture and society. (31:15)
5. Once Asma bint Abu Bakr’s mother, who was still an unbeliever, came to see her in Madinah. She told this to the Prophet and said: “My mother has come to see me, and she is expecting something from me. May I oblige her?” The Prophet said: “Yes, be kind to your mother” (Muslim : 2195)
6. When parents make mistakes and they ask for forgiveness then we should open our hearts and accept it and forgive them because we also want Allah SWT to forgive us despite all our shortcomings. (24:22)
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General Principle:
No doubt Quran has emphatically obligated us to treat parents with Ehsaan (humility & tenderness) in normal circumstances. The following verses sum it up pretty well:
“Serve no other god except God, lest [on the Day of Judgement] you are left blameworthy and disgraceful. And [remember that] your Lord has enjoined you to worship none but Him, and to treat well your parents. If either or both of them attain old age in your life, show them no sign of impatience, nor scold them while answering; but speak to them with good etiquette and treat them with humility and tenderness and say: “Lord, be merciful to them the way they nursed me in childhood.” Your Lord fully knows what is in your hearts; if you remain obedient [to them, then you should know that] He forgives those who turn to Him. (17:22-25).”
Exceptional Principle:
In this specific case, I would like to draw your attention towards the following verses of Quran, which originally relate to verses of Inheritance:
“You know not who among your children and parents are nearest to you in benefit. This is the law of God. Indeed, God is Wise and all-Knowing.” (4:11)
Mr. Ghamidi writes in it’s exegesis (only relevant excerpt included):
“Secondly, the law of inheritance as stated in the Qur’ān is based on the underlying cause of ‘the benefit of kinship’, as indicated by the words lā tadrūna ayyuhum aqrabu lakum naf’ā (you know not who among your children and parents are nearest to you in benefit). Consequently, the directive in reality does not pertain to the relatives but is related to the underlying cause present in this relationship, which actually entitles them to become the heirs. All the relatives whose shares have been stated in the Qur’ān will be considered eligible to be the recipients only in case the underlying cause of this directive ie, benefit can be proven in their relation to the deceased. This benefit is, by nature, present in parents, children, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives and other close relations. Hence, in normal circumstances, they will be considered the heirs to the legacy of a deceased. However, in certain unusual circumstances, if an absence of benefit in any of these relationships is diagnosed by sense and reason, the style and pattern of the verse demands that such a relative should not become an heir to the legacy. Therefore, in such cases, if someone is deprived from his share, it would be perfectly in accordance with the purport of the verse, to which its words so clearly testify.
In the diverse nature of human relationships, there can be certain instances in which an absence of benefit in close associations can be clearly seen. A little deliberation shows that two such cases are very apparent:
1) Owing to some reason, no relationship on the basis of Islam remains between a legatee and a legator.
2) A legatee kills his legator…
…Since the law of inheritance is based on the underlying cause of benefit, both these cases are, in fact, not included in its sphere of application. These exceptions do not annul the directive, but are understood to exist in its connotations from the day it was revealed. They are inherent in the meaning of the verse and not extraneous to it. Anyone having a linguistic appreciation can clearly comprehend this fact.
The Prophet (sws) is said to have said:
“A Muslim cannot be an heir of a disbeliever nor can a disbeliver be a Muslim’s.” (Bukhari, Kitab-ul-Farāidh, Chapter 26)
“The slayer shall not receive the legacy of the person he slays.” (Tirmazī, Kitab-ul-Farāidh, Chapter 17)
Issue at hand (Conclusion):
Since Quran has provided a basis of ‘Benefit of kinship (Manfiat)’ which if cut off by any act of relationship would jeopardize the essence and reality of that relationship.
The act of Mother in this particular instance actually demolished all the basis of relationship above; hence, the kid is under no religious obligation to connect with her Mother. If she decides do do so, she will be doing a voluntary good deed and will get her reward from Allah. But if she decides not to do so, she will not be held accountable in accordance with the above mentioned basis provided in Quran.
*(This is my educated opinion, not a scholarly one.)
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Thank you for your assistance.al A very broad point of view.
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