To have sex with spouse is a mutual right and mutual understanding between the two. None of them has a superior say in this matter. It is for their own good to care and cater for lawful desires of each other and also respect feelings of each other.
A saying of the prophet (SAW) asking women to respond to her husband’s call by all means, is an advice to accommodate their husband’s desires and the same goes for husbands.
This matter can’t be dealt canonically but with mutual understanding, love and respect.