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  • Mutah For Sexual Compatibility

    Posted by A Hasan on October 14, 2020 at 2:18 am

    The goal is to prevent children from having rights usurped from them of a stable family.

    Now. If sexual compatibility is deemed an important part of a relationship – then what is wrong with the state making laws of a contract that allows someone to easily check their compatibility. If, for instance a child is born, then the state has made the contract so that he must be brought up till a certain age etc.

    What is the issue in this?

    I have thought of a few arguments.

    One is that is sexual compatibility really that important? We see people in the west who check this through zina and it still doesn’t stop the divorce rates from soaring. But this may be a non sequitur because the people in the east simply don’t get divorced because of society.

    Another one could be that mutah simply doesn’t ensue the same responsibility and mindset as marriage does. Marriage should not be considered simply friends with benefits.

    However, someone in favour of mutah will simply ask: what is the difference between a couple that get married and shortly divorces after due to any reason and mutah?

    Also- you cannot stop the father from running away and not supporting the child in marriage in any more effective way if the contract of mutah is the same.

    Also, in the end- it is just a times contract for marriage. What is wrong?

    Umer replied 4 years, 1 month ago 5 Members · 29 Replies
  • 29 Replies
  • Mutah For Sexual Compatibility

    Umer updated 4 years, 1 month ago 5 Members · 29 Replies
  • ودود

    Member October 14, 2020 at 6:12 am

    I don’t see any problem with Mutah or temporary marriage – if all rules of nikka and eddat are followed.

    It does not create any ambiguity of the child parenthood and the contract can also provide for taking care of the child just how it is done after a marriage break up

    If i am not wrong verse 4:24 is quoted in support of mutah marriage

    • Muhammad Ahmed

      Member October 14, 2020 at 8:35 am

      May i ask what interpretation u r considering of the ayah 4:24 which goes in support to mutah?

  • Faisal Haroon

    Moderator October 14, 2020 at 8:10 am

    There’s no room for instituting a legal spin to what God has already ordained. The intention of both man and woman should be clear that they’re getting married for life. If things really don’t work out, the door for divorce is always open. However, if a couple enters a marriage just with the intent of testing out physical compatibility, they can never put in the effort required to make the marriage work.

    https://youtu.be/3PxzusMk6BQ

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 8:51 am

      Why can they? It is just like getting to know your partner emotionally. If a child were to come into the world the contract would put in responsibilities to bring it up.

      What’s the difference between mutah and a couple who gets divorced shortly after marriage due to incompatibility?

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 8:53 am

      Zina was made haraam for a purpose right? And that was to protect the child.

      So i guess you could say that God made it so only in the concept of a marriage that has the intent of lasting the entire life is the relation allowed. So mutah is not classed as an actual marriage.

    • Faisal Haroon

      Moderator October 14, 2020 at 5:07 pm

      However, if a couple enters a marriage just with the intent of testing out physical compatibility, they can never put in the effort required to make the marriage work.

      This is a very important point to understand. When a person gets into an intimate relationship with another person, the two not only get to be aware of each other’s physical nakedness, but also each other’s psychological and emotional flaws become very noticeable to them in a short order. Marriage is a lot of work and a lifelong series of compromises. When a couple gets into a relationship with the intent of trying it out, they cannot settle down and begin a family. Marriage has to be done with a strong sense of commitment and the intent of a lifelong partnership – there are no two ways around it.

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 5:09 pm

      Yes so am I correct in saying mutah does not conform the the concept of marriage. In the main way that it does not hold the intent of staying together for life. That is an obligatory part of the contract for marriage then right?

    • Faisal Haroon

      Moderator October 14, 2020 at 5:11 pm

      Yes, marriage should be done with the intent of staying together for life. Mutah is just legalized adultery.

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 5:13 pm

      Should be or must be? Sorry it’s just that I want to make it clear so I can understand

    • Faisal Haroon

      Moderator October 14, 2020 at 5:16 pm

      Yes must be.

  • ودود

    Member October 14, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    In the west, many couples live together as a bf/gf and many of them legally get married only if they end up having a baby.

    The unwritten contract is to stay together to understand each other more until a point where the boys proposes the girl for marriage or they breakup.

    The marriage law in catholic religion does not allow divorce and therefore it’s important for the couple to make sure they have chosen the right partner. The churches and the priest encourage couple not to marry until they are sure of their choice

    The bf/gf system has gained world wide popularity and even non Christian world like East asia is following the same culture – except for muslims culture where divorce is as easy as breaking up with your gf or bf. So there is no reason to have gf as they can just marry and leave if it doesn’t work out. It’s only in India and Pakistan where divorce is discouraged and incompatible couples are forced to live a compromised life.

    In short, there is no difference between mutah or marriage as in both cases the couple can either extend the contract to life time if they like or agree to breakup anytime if it does not work.

    Some say marriage or mutah is a legalized adultery and others say adultery is only an undocumented or illegal marriage. I think this kind of labeling is not necessary.

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 7:35 pm

      The difference lies in the intention behind the decision

    • ودود

      Member October 14, 2020 at 7:40 pm

      True and the intentions are best known to God.

      Thats why differentiating between a marriage and temporary marriage is not important. Both are marriages both are legal – a breakup must have a valid reason. One might be able to foresee the reason in advance but it should not make the marriage null and void and no one knows the future with certainty and couples can also change their mind anytime even if their intentions at the time of entering the contract were not long term.

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 7:42 pm

      We unfortunately have to work on what we can see. So if someone has predetermined a time for divorce it should not be legally considered a marriage. If they do it secretly then what can we do?

    • ودود

      Member October 14, 2020 at 7:43 pm

      Have to? Where is it given in Quran or sunnah?

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 7:44 pm

      I believe it is form the overall narrative which can be taken from a study of all verses in context etc. But perhaps @faisalharoon could provide more insight to the evidences

  • ودود

    Member October 14, 2020 at 7:35 pm

    Even in the protestant Christian countries the laws of divorce are so complicated and involves splitting the wealth, the couple do not want to legally married they just live together as bf/gf and also have babies and live as a family. Some european countries deem such couples as legally married couples and subject them to the divorce laws if they breakup

  • ودود

    Member October 14, 2020 at 7:58 pm

    Lets consider some scenarios here:

    1. Students studying abroad decide to get married until they finish their university – after which they have no valid visa to stay together – chances are visa extension as a couple will be rejected but who knows the laws might change or one of them or both might get a job there or whatever. Is their marriage is void?

    A man has plan to hike mount Everest and he is training for that and saving money. He marries a girl and tell her he might have to leave for his mission and never come back or return after long time. They agree to divorce if he has to leave. Is this marriage void?

    No of course.

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 7:59 pm

      Marriage is for the upbringing of the next generation. If it can’t last a 5 year university course then it should occur

    • ودود

      Member October 14, 2020 at 8:02 pm

      In both the scenarios above, the marriage is valid and there are no if and butts.

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 8:03 pm

      If they married knowing full well that they would have to go apart then I don’t think they should’ve taken this step. If a child was born in those years what would happen then?

    • ودود

      Member October 14, 2020 at 8:05 pm

      No matter what happens to their off springs the marriage is valid.

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 8:06 pm

      I guess you could say so. But their marriage contract wasn’t ‘I will divorce you after 5 years’. It was probably intended to last but external circumstances changed it. That’s a difference

    • ودود

      Member October 14, 2020 at 8:06 pm

      If we use your criteria no one in world can even marry any woman coz there is always a possibility of death and divorce.

    • A Hasan

      Contributor October 14, 2020 at 8:08 pm

      This criteria should be perhaps not a legal one but important for the individual to consider.

      We cannot control death.

      Anyway how is this the same as someone sayin ‘i will divorce you after two months’ before they are even married?

  • ودود

    Member October 14, 2020 at 8:12 pm

    There must be a good reason for not being able to continue the relationship in a mutually benefitting way. As long as both understand and agree to take the risk it is a valid marriage.

    If there is no valid reason and the intention of ‘marrying’ is a one night stand rather than living like a couple in the society it’s not a marriage in the first place.

  • Umer

    Moderator October 16, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    For detailed comments of Ghamidi Sahab, please refer to the following videos:

    Please refer from 1:04 to 8:10

    https://youtu.be/feVJpEdCTjA?t=64

  • Umer

    Moderator October 16, 2020 at 3:52 pm

    Please refer from 16:24 to 20:21

    https://youtu.be/3LzDbrgugdc?t=984

  • Umer

    Moderator October 16, 2020 at 3:52 pm

    Please refer from 7:36 to 11:14

    https://youtu.be/3kfdJeY-9As?t=456

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