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Sexual Desires Before Marriage
I am talking about an average person in today’s age. The one who is living in my country and era. He’s studying till he become 25 and then start doing job after some time after being an intern. What is the way for him to manage his desires? In a place where casual relationships are not only ‘okay’ but ‘normal’. Taking decision to marry before this and before getting settled seems unrealistic and searching a point in uncertainty. This argument that Ghamidi sahab gives are very logical and philosophical and I am very firm on these beliefs that they’re true but the person I am talking about, we’ll get thousands of examples like him if not millions, where one can’t take enough financial support from his/her parents too. My question is ‘If he indulges in premarital relationships that Islam forbids and even he knows it, will be same sinner as someone would be after he’s indulging in it in an highly islamic and modest society. Because in islamic society the person would be committing a sin against Allah’s command and committing a crime against state too. And here the person is almost forced by his own desires and societal financial structure. I am talking about the ‘intensity of sin.’ Because as we know premarital relationships are sadde jariya and not absolute or subjected to actual prohibition. So here until whole society is educated on many levels, betterment doesn’t seem practical anyway near future. So that one person staying away from premarital relationship won’t even make a lot of change in society which was one of the reason it was prohibited in muslim society. So the question becomes ‘If societal structure is based on the sin and it is considered normal, won’t there be some relaxations like ulema say about system of interest or Riba, that to think of it as wrong in heart.
Like saying to not indulge in intimacy and controlling one’s self in his prime 20s or 30s seem unrealistic. So can one know it is wrong but still perform it because he knows there is no way out. Just like doing in Riba or sood. The argument that Ghamidi sahab gives is that it is addictive. But the person is limiting himself to do this only before marriage and after marriage he’ll be disciplining himself to his spouse. Will that be fare. Maybe I am being seemed as person trying to curve fit religion according to lust and desires and this scenario is not bothering me personally. But I get worried about common believer out there when I see how things are taking place near me. Thanks in advance.
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