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Ibadah Of Marrying More Than One And Hatred Of First Wife For That Ibadah
Hello there,
assalamualaikum
my question is that every woman sort of feels jealousy and a hatred that her husband be involved with another woman. it’s her extreme natural want that her husband be exclusively for herself and involved in love only with her. this extreme want for her husband being exclusive to her on the other side, translates to her hatred in heart to her husband being shared with another woman.
so she has a hate that her husband marries some other woman, gets closer to her, love her romantically etc. she hates this act as it makes her lose the special exclusive level of her.
now when her husband decides to marry some woman, with intention of following footsteps of Prophet out of love for prophet, or for any other intention to please Allah with this nikah, his action of marriage also becomes an ibadah. when when the woman is told by her husband that he is doing second marriage as an ibadah. she still strongly feels repulsive and keeps on saying her husband “don’t do this because I would lose exclusivity and I don’t want you to be near to any woman, I hate that you be near to any woman. I have no problem in you doing ibadah and pleasing Allah but do it with some other act if you want. DONT DO THIS ACTION OF IBADAH”.
So the extreme dislike for her husband to be near other woman, translated to extreme dislike for him doing that specific action as an ibadah. would it be sinful for her to have this repulsion and dislike? would it be like hating something with which Allah is pleased with? and sinful in that extent?
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5 Replies
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Ibadah Of Marrying More Than One And Hatred Of First Wife For That Ibadah
updated 1 year, 1 month ago
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Replies
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Marriage is not obligatory but a recommended act in religion. One marriage can be called Ibadah in that sense and more than one one marriage can only be called Ibadah when there is a divine directive to marry more than one. And we know that there is no such directive where Muslims were ordered in Quran to keep marrying more than one. The primary verse used in this regard i.e. Quran 4:3-4 clearly deals with a specific situation of that time. Now the room is open to more than one marriage upto four based on person’s social, religious, economical or other needs. It is no longer a religious requirement to marry more than one and if one does that, then he is doing an optional act which is neither religious nor Mustahab. And if one is doing it solely for religious reasons (e.g. to genuinely take a helpless woman or an orphan under one’s wings etc.), then it would still be an optional act, and not a very sane act to do so in the face of resistence from an already established family. Therefore, the whole premise of the question i.e. “THAT MARRYING MORE THAN ONE IS AN ACT OF IBADAH” is flawed.
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@UmerQureshi sir what i wanted to know was that, even if it is optional act. my question is that is the woman who feels a dislike that her husband shared with another woman. so even if for example an instance arrives where her husband wants to marry a woman to help her. she feels dislike in this too, not because she hates İslam or that her husband does anything that Allah likes, she has no negative feelings for either Allah or Islam or Allah being worshipped. she only disliked her husband doing this ibadah (in this incidence) only because of the action involved in it, which is sharing of husband.
this thing is not only extended to this case but any other case where a person dislikes that some other person does any specific action. and even if that action is being done as a way to worship. the dislike or extreme unwant, is still present there. Not because of having any hatred for ibadah, but because of that action itself. so would the woman having such dislike in the case above or any one having a dislike in such case, is their natural dislike allowable in Islam? or it would be tantamount to “hating ibadah” or the big sin of hating Allah being worshipped??
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No, it would not tantamount to hating Ibadah or Hating Allah being worshipped unless the person actually beliefs in that or admits is openly. However, I must point it out again that marrying more than one is not an ibadah, not in any sense the way first marriage could be categorized as ibadah. The premise of the question is not correct and it needs to be supported with a better practical example.
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@UmerQureshi sir just for the sake of explanation like I’ll come up with a hypothetical example. if like a woman doesn’t like her child to eat date for example. she dislikes that her child eats the date. now at a random time the child was eating date with the intention that since prophet used to like it then if I do it, maybe it would be pleasing to Allah as a way of showing my love to prophet. her mother knows that here he is doing it with intention of pleasing Allah (which becomes ibada) but her mother still says that I dislike your eating of date. and I don’t want you to eat date. she doesn’t have any problem in him following prophet in any way or to please Allah in any way (she doesn’t have any dislike with prophet being followed or Allah being pleased). she only wants that it be done with some other act but not this one because this act in itself (eating date), she dislikes it.
so would she recieve any sin? in that particular instance?
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When a thing itself is not ibadah, like rituals of worship, having different opinions and perceptions about that act is not tantamount to sin. Her objection is still to the act of eating dates, not to the intention. Intention is not an integral part of this act.
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