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Finding Redemption: A Young Muslim's Struggle With Guilt After Committing Zina
Less than a day has passed since I made a choice I never imagined I would. The immediate aftermath was overwhelming: I was consumed by guilt and a deep urge to escape from my own skin. In response, I sought solace through prayer, performing Namaz and fervently seeking Allah’s forgiveness. This wasn’t an impulsive act; it was the result of years of internal struggle, numerous decisions, and personal conflicts. Now, I’m grappling with feelings of betrayal towards my faith, my family, and my potential future partner. I’m searching for a way to cope with these tumultuous emotions.
My understanding of Islam is reasonably strong for someone my age, but I’m eager to deepen my knowledge to overcome this challenge, forgive myself, and grow into a better person for those who will be part of my future. I believe, and please correct me if I’m wrong, that sincere repentance is met with forgiveness from Allah. I’ve spent the entire day in prayer, feeling almost detached from reality, yet aware that I must confront and accept my actions. The memories of that moment keep haunting me, and I desperately wish to wake from this nightmare. I realize, however, that my decision is irreversible and will stay with me forever.
I am seeking guidance on how to move forward. I want to use Allah’s teachings and the Quran as a compass for my redemption. In the coming days, what steps can I take to reconcile with myself and find inner peace? How can I use my faith to help me navigate this difficult period and find a path towards healing and redemption? How can I, as a young American adult, effectively utilize the Quran as a resource for guidance and understanding, and what versions of the Quran are most suitable for clarity and comprehension, while also realistically incorporating Islamic principles into my daily life?
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Finding Redemption: A Young Muslim's Struggle With Guilt After Committing Zina
updated 10 months ago
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Following advice of Dr. Shahzad Saleem might help you:
https://www.al-mawrid.org/Question/60a204a3923f0b12074d86c2/am-i-being-punished
You can also choose to hold a personal consultation session with Dr. Shahzad Saleem to ask any questions specific to your situation that are disturbing your mind. Please register at the following link:
https://www.ghamidi.org/consultation-registration/
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As a principle, The Almighty has asserted (Quran 6:54) that He has made mercy incumbent upon Himself and therefore He never punishes people who after sinning repent and mend their ways. And when honest forgiveness is sought from Allah, even from the major sins, not only Allah will erase those bad deeds from the person’s account, but also convert those bad deeds into good deeds with an equivalent reward:
وَالَّذِيْنَ لَا يَدْعُوْنَ مَعَ اللَّهِ إِلَهًا آخَرَ وَلَا يَقْتُلُوْنَ النَّفْسَ الَّتِیْ حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلَّا بِالْحَقِّ وَلَا يَزْنُوْنَ وَمَن يَّفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَامًا. يُّضَاعَفْ لَهُ الْعَذَابُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَيَخْلُدْ فِيْهِ مُهَانًا. إِلَّا مَنْ تَابَ وَآمَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلًا صَالِحًا فَأُوْلَئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ اللَّهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ حَسَنَاتٍ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيْمًا. وَمَنْ تَابَ وَعَمِلَ صَالِحًا فَإِنَّهُ يَتُوْبُ إِلَى اللَّهِ مَتَابًا.
And [are those] who do not call any other deity besides God, do not kill any soul held sacred by God and do not commit fornication – whosever does these sins, will bear its consequences. On the Day of Judgement, his torment will continue to increase and he will forever abide in it disgraced. Except he who repented, professed faith and did good deeds, then it is such people whose bad deeds God will transform into good ones. In reality, God is very forgiving; ever-merciful. And he who repents and does good deeds should rest assured because he returns to God with full success. (Quran 25:68-71)
In this regard, the rule is that if people repent immediately after they commit a sin the Almighty definitely forgives them; however, He does not forgive people who deeply indulge in sin all their lives and when they see death approaching start to repent and seek forgiveness from the Almighty. Similarly, He also does not forgive people who deliberately deny the truth if they continue on this denial till death. This practice of God regarding repentance has been mentioned in the Quran in the following words:
إِنَّمَا التَّوْبَةُ عَلَى اللّهِ لِلَّذِينَ يَعْمَلُونَ السُّوَءَ بِجَهَالَةٍ ثُمَّ يَتُوبُونَ مِن قَرِيبٍ فَأُوْلَـئِكَ يَتُوبُ اللّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ وَكَانَ اللّهُ عَلِيماً حَكِيماً وَلَيْسَتِ التَّوْبَةُ لِلَّذِينَ يَعْمَلُونَ السَّيِّئَاتِ حَتَّى إِذَا حَضَرَ أَحَدَهُمُ الْمَوْتُ قَالَ إِنِّي تُبْتُ الآنَ وَلاَ الَّذِينَ يَمُوتُونَ وَهُمْ كُفَّارٌ أُوْلَـئِكَ أَعْتَدْنَا لَهُمْ عَذَابًا أَلِيمًا
God’s responsibility is to forgive only those who commit a sin while being overwhelmed with emotions and then quickly repent. It is they who are forgiven by God. God is all-knowing and wise. But He will not forgive those who sin all their lives and, when death comes to them, say: “Now I repent!” nor those who die as disbelievers. It is for these whom We have prepared a grievous punishment. (Quran 4:17-18)
The way to move forward is to have good faith in the mercy of God and one should try to be consistent with his repentance and should not relapse into the same sin. One can make achieving pinnacle of morality as his objective and should work on that instead because it is something admired highly by the Almighty. Also with an objective in mind and continued struggle to achieve that objective, chances are high that one might get out if this entangled web of guilt and start moving forward with a positive frame of mind with pleasure of God as the ultimate objective and his actions will stand witness to this fact.
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