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Taking Revenge Against An Elder Oppressor
God says if an oppressed person takes his revenge, there is no sin on him as long as it is equivalent to what happened to him. If someone slaps you, you can slap him. But what if an elder slaps you and keeps on humiliating you in front of others unjustly? Wouldn’t doing the same to him as a revenge be a sign of arrogance?
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12 Replies
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Taking Revenge Against An Elder Oppressor
updated 6 months, 1 week ago
5 Members
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12
Replies
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God also says forgiving is better than taking revenge.
Its better to go away from that place، than inflicting revenge.
God is will held that elder accountable for their injustice
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Revenge by your own hand is considered when there is no court system in place.
In case of a difference of position, the one in the inferior position must seek authority especially if court system exists. Problem with taking revenge by own hand is that sometime you don’t inflict the right amount and that can make you accountable if you end up harming the other more than intended, and an elder will suffer both more physically and lose more honor. But this can be handled by a court or someone above the elder that are willing to dispense justice in an accepted system and graceful manner.
If this is not possible then you are among the oppressed and helpless, to which Allah command to be patient and promises that He will take revenge personally on their behalf, in this world or the next.
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The best solution is forgiveness as Allah suggested. Not only Allah will compensate you many times over, the act of true forgiveness gives peace to the person burning in the fire of revenge. The person trying to take revenge, not only got abused, then for the rest of his life the person is mentally torturing himself in the fire of revenge. Even if the person is able to take revenge, it doesn’t decrease the pain inside by much. Taking revenge doesn’t take away the mental discomfort a person is going through.
The only true, permanent and most rewarding solution is forgiveness. Try it. Forgive the person and ask Allah for compensation. You will feel the most deepest calm and peace of mind.
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Thank you. Forgiveness truly is the best option. But what about while the oppression is happening? Obviously one should try to get out of that situation. So, what if the only option to avoid any mental or bodily harm is to fight back no matter if it is someone above your age? By elder, I didn’t mean someone 70 years old but just someone above your age, he could be 30 or 40
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There is no sin in defending yourself as a last resort from abuse. Just be careful not to use it as means to release your anger or transgress the limits.
We should also wait for @Irfan76 for advice.
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I have seen similar situation and also gone through a bit myself. For verbal abuse try answering with good and respectful response first and explain how their abuse is hurtful and not helping with what the other person is trying to achieve. If the person continues, then try a worse verbal response than the other person. Sometimes some people take kindness as weakness. In most of these situations the abused is weaker or dependent on the abuser. If you are financially able to live on your own, the best thing is to get away from the person or situation before something too serious happens.
Finally, if other person is physically abusing you and you can’t seek legal help, just hold their hand or body hard or drop them on the ground and hold them for a short while, just to show your power and to show that you are able to defend yourself. If the other person has even a little sense, they would realize your strength and ability to respond and they will hopefully stop using physical abuse.
In case someday it becomes a legal or criminal issue, document details of each instance right after the incident and capture date and time in your notes. If you can voice record or video record, it may help too. But recordings sometimes are not admisab in certain states or certain cases.
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Equal revenge is not always means equal in act. If one raped orolested someone the victim won’t do that same to the offender.
Established norms are followed to take revenge or compensation, given in law and ethics.
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And questioner also asked in case during abuse, is one allowed to strike back in words or actions against an elder/in superior position? Like self-defense?
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Best is to get away ftom such situation if possible. Second is to show your strength or ability to defend and scare the other. If it is parents, no the person can’t disrespect or strike back but defend himself only. All other elders don’t matter in such situation.
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As indicated in the response, established norms and ways are adopted. One is not supposed to slap back one’s father, for example, one has to comolain his oppressions to other peolme like thr elders in the family or police or court.
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So from what I understand, even in case of serious harm or death during abuse where immediate escape isn’t possible, one shouldn’t immediately resist or immediately engage in self-defense? (Because seeking help from law part comes later if you manage to survive the abuse first).
Ghamidi Sahab seems to imply that the weaker in position has no choice but to endure here (especially 2:00 onward):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftZuJIpchT8 -
Already said to adopt established ways and norms to responsd to oppression. To save one’s life is an extreme case. One doesn’t allow a killer to kill him because he is an elder. One can kill him in self defence.
It depends upon the situation.
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