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How To Do Tawbah For Some Sort Of Violation Unknown To The Victim
Hello there, Assallam u alaikum
my question is that if someone exposes someone else’s weakness in a private conversation with someone else. the other person would not have wanted this thing to be known to others. but the man did it, and now if he wants to do Tawbah. how can he do Tawbah? is it necessary to tell the person whose weakness was told, that I did such and such?
as the victim is unaware and is chill and relax, telling them of this event will make them feel hurt and possibly feel bad feelings in relationship with this person and make them always feel embarrassed whenever they get reminded of it or if they meet the person to whom it was told.
in case of a man who told about a weakness of his fiance to his cousin. now he feels regret. if he tells his fiance of this action she’ll be angry and have bad feelings for him. and would always feel embarrassed whenever she meets his fiance’s cousin. Does he need to tell her of this event and ask forgiveness for expiation? or he can do ask Allah for forgiveness and be more kind towards his fiance and try to make her happy with other means without telling about this event?
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1 Reply
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How To Do Tawbah For Some Sort Of Violation Unknown To The Victim
updated 2 months ago
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Don’t do it. I tried the same thing once, telling the victim who was before unaware and I regret it. He is sad and angry now. Whenever I listen to an opinion of a scholar my mind just gives me ideas to the extreme and I carry them out in order to avoid punishment. I think you are facing the same problem here.
Just make a sincere repentance to God that you will not do anything like that again and you are good to go. If it is too difficult to say sorry to the individual, ask God to help you, both here and on the day of judgement. Obviously if you are sincere in your repentance and become a better person, God will become your friend and will help you out. This all makes sense.
A person can take away someone’s material wealth or spiritual wealth (respect, dignity etc) and it needs to be returned so do your best to return that but that doesn’t mean you have to go out and fall on the victim’s feet to make sure he forgives you (unless you don’t find it difficult to do that to a victim of your oppression, that can be great thing) or to tell him the sin against him that he doesn’t know of. What I suggest you do in this case is say good things about him to others, do some favor to him, in terms of respect.
Many people are traumatized and if you tell them you did that behind their back, not only is there a chance that they won’t forget what you did but also their life will become stressful for days or even years. Trauma is a horrible thing.
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