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My OCD And Islam
I want to share my journey with OCD, particularly how it intertwines with my faith. It started when I was 14. At 15, I was diagnosed with clinical OCD. Since then, the central theme of my OCD has always been religion. It’s been an ongoing struggle, and I hope my story resonates with those who might be dealing with similar challenges.
2/Initially, my OCD manifested as intrusive, absurd thoughts about Allah and the Prophet ﷺ. These thoughts were terrifying. I constantly felt anxious, thinking I’d be held accountable for them. It wasn’t until I learned the Islamic ruling—that we aren’t held accountable for involuntary thoughts—that I found some relief.
3/Over the years, my OCD has had highs and lows. I’ve gone through therapy, taken medication (still on a low dose), and tried different coping strategies. Some worked temporarily, others lasted longer. But one constant remains: OCD blurs the line between what feels real and what’s just a symptom.
4/One of the hardest parts of OCD is that the thoughts don’t come labeled as “OCD.” They feel real. The doubts and fears seem logical and urgent, making it almost impossible to distinguish between an OCD-driven thought and genuine concern.
5/Currently, my OCD manifests as anxiety about the permissibility of certain actions. When I enjoy something, my mind finds a way to connect it to being Haram. Then the cycle begins:
“What if Allah holds me accountable for ignoring this thought?”
“What if this was a sign I should’ve investigated further?”
“What if ignoring it leads to consequences I’m responsible for?”6/For example, I think: “If Allah gives me a thought or feeling that something might be Haram, isn’t it my duty to address it fully before continuing? Otherwise, am I not deliberately ignoring a sign?”
This leads to endless over-analysis, seeking reassurance, and mental exhaustion.
7/I rationalize this fear using analogies, like the one about a drunkard. If someone knowingly drinks and commits unintentional sins while intoxicated, they’re held accountable because they chose to put themselves in that state.
Similarly, I feel if I ignore these thoughts without full investigation, I’ll be responsible for any resulting sins.
8/But the truth is, OCD thoughts are relentless because they exploit our values. For me, my love for Allah and fear of His displeasure are core values. OCD twists this into paralyzing fear, making it feel like every doubt must be addressed to avoid sin.
9/The reality is, in Islam, we’re not held accountable for baseless doubts or thoughts outside our control. The Prophet ﷺ taught us to ignore waswas (intrusive thoughts) and focus on what’s clear. But OCD makes it hard to trust this, as every fear feels real and urgent. But the problem is that a sufferer of OCD is almost never able to recognize and distinguish whether a thought is based on OCD or is it coming from his “conscience hence accountable”. to him everything and every fear feels real. and this emotionally becomes so difficult and sometimes overwhelmed in this state… so much so that I keep walking for in around house for long long times in anxiety and sometimes even if I’m doing normal things my mind is locked in on those thoughts for hours and hours and locked in anxiety that by the end of the day mind becomes literally numb and lethargic.10/
To illustrate my struggle, I often think of analogies like the drunkard. A drunkard knowingly puts themselves in a state of less awareness by drinking. If they commit unintentional sins while intoxicated, they’re held accountable because they chose to enter that state despite knowing its consequences.
11/
Similarly, I fear that when I do something Haram—like a favor for a friend—it creates a “memory” or “list of favors” that could later lead to unintended consequences. For example:
If my friend recalls the favor one day and reflexively does something for me in return, and hence that memory played it’s part to deliver me impermissible item and hence my subsequent usage of it (and I was aware of such phenomenon before while doing Haram favor that this favor can cause me to do unintentional sin in such a manner) or
If they give me something saying, “This is for all the favors you’ve done for me,”
…and if that Haram favor was part of the list I created through my actions, I fear I’d be accountable for consuming something impermissible, even if unintentional.
12/
These fears feel real and overwhelming. They make me second-guess every action, wondering if I’ve set myself up for indirect accountability
What should I do, how to go on with life like this. i feel unable to do anything in life because of these circumstances with me. the doctors may give me medicine to calm my mind but this can never remove the thoughts. saying that thoughts are thoughts is easy for someone from outside, but to the person that come they seem real. what to do in this situation. what should the sufferer do. should I start to go against those thoughts (if it’s OCD, then it’s good that I avoided it but then what if it was my conscience? that I ignored)
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7 Replies
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My OCD And Islam
updated 4 months, 1 week ago
4 Members
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7
Replies
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Do not take your thoughts serious. Do not respond to them.
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@Irfan76 sir even if it entails that I don’t take my conscience serious, still then it’s okay?
how will I distinguish that this thought is a thought that should be ignored & such thought is a conscience and a reason/thought that will be a hujjah against me in the day of judgement?
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Each and every point which you mentioned here iam suffering from the same ,& as soon as I started getting answers for the sake compulsion ,like asking issues related to fiqh & islam every minute I got diverse opiniontaari hon apajc attackaana daleel ks some were too extrime & some were lienent,now in many issues where I have enough reference still I couldn’t able get satisfaction,like every action should be proven halal from the text,if not then may be iam doing something haram,just a fear which make me think irrelevant thought phir kuch waqt baad lagta hai haan,to kya hua iski hurmat sabit nahi par khauf taari hora hai panic attack aarahe hai shayd shyad ye daleel hai iski hurmat ki,cheezo ko dekhna ka view point bilkul change hojata hai it feels like iam labelling it OCD to escape from Gods punishment! Mazeed aur b hai magar verbalize karna mushkil hora hai!
@Irfan76 @UmerQureshi in bhai k sath meri b rahnumai faradijiye is hawale se!
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This is not conscience but OCD. Learn from the people around you. Behave like them. And ignore your thoughts. As long as you respond to them you won’t get rid of them.
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I am genuinely grateful for the above commentators for sharing their vulnerable experiences as it makes other people feel like they are not alone.Also for Irfan sahab for answering . @Ittobaba since u mentioned u have been struggling and getting treatment for many years, could please share on this public thread what has worked for u( even temporarily) . The only thing that works for me is staying away from the phone as much as possible so I don’t google intrusive Haram halal questions about everyday things and I am forced to rely on my own knowledge but even that goes south. Please share coping mechanism that have worked for you as I believe many like my self may stumble on this thread and find something helpful! I request the same of @moinuddin .
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@Sabibilal I had used some medications for long time as well. They helped to slightly take a little edge off of anxiety, but still with it, OCD phases used to come.
What I realize is that whatever thing is dear to me, my OCD mind sometimes manoeuvres around it, and brings up points that suggest this thing to be Haram.
The problem is that those thoughts feel very real, the evidence provided by those thoughts feel real. And simply ignoring didn’t work. Because at the back of mind it felt as if ignoring intellect and conscience. This is a tough time. During this time, patience is needed, reminding yourself that “i have OCD, and this maybe just an exaggeration of OCD phase” And trying to discuss and understand the topic.
Later with time and discussion, when the topic clears, the peace comes too. But often another topic comes soon.
I myself really don’t know what is the key solution to managing it fully. We just need to learn with our own experiences and errors. Because most of the psychiatrist, psychologist do not clearly understand OCD.
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@Ittobaba Jazak Allah. I appreciate u replying. I do what u do, reason with myself, research, probably mentally break down once, research again and accceptance comes with time but the mind finds something else or even something old. I even have a kid who’s now become a point of fixation, as my mind not only sees my failings as a mother as only a social failure but also a religious one and I feel useless. I agree with surah kahf being kind of comforting( maybe because it puts things into perspective). Moreover I just accept sometimes that I am kinda of failing/ bad and it helps me pray nafl prayers like I’m pleading and that can strangely be impovering as it really makes me let go of the fear part of doing what is haram and hold on to the hope for mercy regardless. May Allah Talla make all our hearts filled with wisdom and his graciousness make them lighter so that we are better equipped to actually do some actual good and feel hopeful for his mercy when we do wrong.
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