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Seeking Forgiveness Despite Being In The Right
A’ssalamu alaikum,My question is that I was correct and I expressed my point completely rightly, but it turned out that the other person was wrong. However, that person has some psychological issues and gets upset easily. I realize that I hurt their feelings, and I know that this grief will stay with them until the grave. Within five minutes, I folded my hands and asked for forgiveness, even though it was the first time in my life that I did such a thing. But they said they will never forgive me in their life. I know that seeking forgiveness for the rights of others (Huquq-ul-Ibad) must be done sincerely from the heart, but if they do not forgive me, will I still be held accountable?
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2 Replies
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Seeking Forgiveness Despite Being In The Right
updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago
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Replies
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Wa Alaikum Assalam,First, calm your heart a little. From what you described, you did not wrong someone deliberately. You expressed your point, you were correct, but the other person got hurt because of their emotional sensitivity. That is different from intentional ظلم (injustice).
Now let’s separate a few things clearly. You realized they were hurt. You apologized within minutes. You humbled yourself. That shows sincerity.
Huquq-ul-Ibad (rights of people) are serious, yes. But accountability depends on intention and effort. If you genuinely asked for forgiveness and tried to repair the situation, you have fulfilled your moral responsibility from your side.
Now about them saying “I will never forgive you.” Right now they are speaking from emotion, not from stability. When someone has psychological sensitivity, their nervous system reacts strongly. In emotional states: The brain goes into defense mode. The person feels threatened. They speak in extremes (“never”, “always”). They are not thinking long-term.
Psychologically, when someone is hurt:
First stage → shock/anger
Second stage → emotional processing
Third stage → softening
Right now they are in stage one. You cannot extract forgiveness from someone who is emotionally flooded. The brain literally cannot process reconciliation in that moment. Let things settle. Time regulates the nervous system. Do not chase them repeatedly for forgiveness. That can increase resistance. Give space. Remain respectful. Let your behavior show consistency. Also understand something important: Grief does not “stay until the grave” just because of one disagreement. That is your guilt exaggerating the impact. People process and move on. From a religious perspective: If you: Did not intend harm, Realized hurt, Sincerely apologized, Tried to repair, Then you are not automatically doomed if they emotionally refuse. Allah judges sincerity and effort, not someone else’s stubborn emotional reaction. Continue being kind. Make dua for them. Leave the rest to Allah. You cannot control their heart. You can only purify yours.
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Thank you. Your answer is very helpful.May Allah keep your knowledge and actions consistent and aligned.
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