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Parents’ Rights In Islam Who Have Been Toxic Their Whole Life
My parents recently divorced, and I feel stuck about what to do. I am 25 and currently living abroad. My relationship with my father has always been very difficult. I feel that he is controlling and toxic, and whenever we speak he often yells, and disrespects me. Because of this, I have started taking antidepressant medication, as the stress from these interactions has been affecting my mental health.
Recently we had a heated argument, and since then I have stopped speaking to him. To be honest, I do not want to see or talk to him now. He has enough money to support himself, so he is not financially dependent on me.
From an Islamic perspective, I am confused about my responsibilities. Am I religiously obligated to keep talking to him even if the relationship is harmful to my mental health? What should I do in this situation?
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4 Replies
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Parents’ Rights In Islam Who Have Been Toxic Their Whole Life
updated 1 month ago
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Replies
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In Islam, kindness and good treatment toward parents is regarded as a very great responsibility. The Qur’an emphasizes this repeatedly. Allah says:
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not even say ‘uff’ to them, nor scold them, but speak to them with noble words.” (Surah Al-Isra 17:23)
In another place it is said:
“And We have enjoined upon man goodness toward his parents.” (Surah Al-Ankabut 29:8)
These verses make it clear that in Islam respecting and treating one’s parents well is a fundamental moral responsibility. However, in practical life there can sometimes be situations where family relationships become very strained and a person faces severe emotional or mental pressure.
If speaking with your father repeatedly leads to arguments, disrespect, and serious stress, then keeping some distance for a time can be understandable. However, the intention should not be to completely cut off the relationship or to develop hatred in the heart. It is better that a person keeps respect and goodwill for their parent in their heart and, as much as possible, does not end the relationship entirely but keeps it limited.
For example, occasionally checking on his well-being or maintaining brief and polite communication can be a balanced approach. In this way, a person does not ignore the rights of the parent while also trying to protect their own emotional and mental well-being.
At the same time, one should pray to Allah to soften the hearts and improve the situation. -
Please refer to the following audio response by Hasan ilyas Sahab:
Discussion 50667 • Reply 50800
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Please also refer to the following comments of Ghamidi Sahab from 36:26 to 38:09
https://youtu.be/uZlx5DhDDU0?si=7aUi-ZsyuPqMSaB2&t=2186
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Thanks appreciated
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