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    I Need Help. I Know My Post Is Very Long. Islam Now Seems So Hard To Me

    Posted by Tasmin Afroz on April 14, 2026 at 4:22 pm

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    I am passing a very tough, confused time. Which I don’t have anyone to.share with. Any normal person can’t give me an answer related to my depression and my current confused status.

    Earlier in my life, things were simple for me.

    I understood that for hijab:

    the dress should be loose (not figure-fitted),

    not see-through,

    should cover the awrah,

    and should not resemble men’s clothing.

    Based on this understanding, I used to wear salwar kameez that are loose (around 4–6 inches loose in chest and hip area), not transparent, and culturally normal.

    I felt at peace with this.

    However, recently, after reading different websites—especially some Middle Eastern fatwa sites—I have become extremely confused and mentally distressed. Islam has started to feel very difficult to me, whereas earlier it felt easy and natural.

    Some websites say that:

    the dress itself cannot be “gorgeous” or decorative,

    it should not be attractive,

    or it should not draw attention.

    But on the other hand:

    I read on Dar al-Ifta Egypt that colorful dresses like Pakistani salwar kameez reflect a rich cultural history.

    On AboutIslam, it seems that if the local culture is colorful, then wearing colorful printed dresses is acceptable.

    From this, I understood that attractiveness may depend on culture (‘urf).

    My confusion then became very deep:

    After reading these opinions, I started overanalyzing everything:

    If my dress has embroidery, lace, or tassels, I start questioning whether my hijab is valid.

    I began checking small detail of my clothing. Like it has lace, that has tassle.etc.

    I even started looking at other women’s clothing and questioning whether their hijab is valid if their dress looks beautiful.

    I also started thinking: if a man finds a dress beautiful, a specific design may seem attractive to random man, does that mean the hijab is invalid?

    This has made my life very, very difficult. I feel overwhelmed by constant technical doubts.

    My Questions:

    1. In the subcontinent (Bangladesh, India, Pakistan), almost all salwar kameez are:

    colorful,

    printed,

    embroidered.

    If I wear such normal, culturally common dresses, and someone (even a man) finds my dress beautiful or elegant, does that mean my hijab is not appropriate?

    Isn’t it natural that people may like certain designs?

    2. Does observing hijab mean that I must look unattractive or unsmart?

    3. When I go to countries like Japan, USA, or Germany, where people do not wear such clothing, my saree or salwar kameez naturally attracts attention because it is culturally different.

    Does that mean my hijab becomes invalid in those places?

    Is Islam really so strict and difficult in such matters?

    4. I like wearing unique and beautiful dresses, and I feel happy when people say I have elegant taste.

    Is this sinful if I acknowledge that Allah is the One who gave me this sense of beauty?

    5. Is it truly a condition of hijab that the dress cannot be decorative or “gorgeous”?

    Because earlier in my life, I never heard such a condition. I only knew the basic requirements (loose, covering, not see-through, etc.).

    Now I see conflicting opinions:

    some say decoration is not allowed,

    some say it depends on culture,

    some allow normal cultural dress but not “extravagant” clothing.

    This has created huge confusion for me.

    6. Regarding looseness:

    My sleeves are about 1 inch loose around the arm. At the wrist, I take care to ensure skin is not exposed.

    Is this level of looseness acceptable?

    7. I also noticed that even female scholars and shaykhas wear clothing where:

    arm and shoulder shape is somewhat naturally visible,

    not extremely loose.

    So do we really need to be extremely technical about hiding every shape, especially in areas like arms and shoulders where complete concealment is almost impossible?

    8. If my dress:

    covers the awrah,

    is loose in chest and hips,

    is not transparent,

    and I cover my hair,

    then is that sufficient for proper hijab?

    9. Do we really need to analyze every detail of clothing (prints, lace, small decorations) and constantly judge whether a hijab is valid or not?

    10. I am naturally a colorful person. Wearing beautiful (not necessarily expensive) dresses makes me feel confident.

    Is it wrong to want to express this within modesty?

    11. Also, I feel that when I present myself in a graceful and elegant way in public, people from other religions may understand that Islam allows women to dress:

    beautifully,

    modestly,

    colorfully,

    and with dignity,

    not that it forces only black or plain clothing.

    Is this intention wrong?

    Additional Concern (Very Important):

    I am also suffering from a deep fear related to istihlal, and this is causing me a lot of depression and mental distress.

    Sometimes I feel afraid that:

    If there is a ruling that “decorative or attractive dress is not allowed,”

    and I do not accept that strictly,

    then I might be committing istihlal (considering something haram as halal).

    I also get thoughts like:

    If someone finds my dress attractive, then maybe my hijab is not valid.

    And if I believe that my hijab is still valid even if someone finds it attractive, then am I committing sin or istihlal?

    Sometimes I even forced myself to say things in my mind like: “If it attracts someone, then it is not hijab,”

    just to feel safe from the fear of going against Islam.

    Because the fear is like, if someman finds my dress attractive ans it makes my hijab “not ok” and in such cases if I don’t give my dress a verdict like “my dress is not a proper hijab” then it will be sin/istihalal. As i am not declaring “improper hijab” as improper hijab. And checking and givibg verdict to every outfit ia so tough. So I just forcefully mademyself to say in mind like ” ok when/if it atteacts someone then it?at that moment it is not hijab. Otherwise it is”

    But these thoughts are making my life extremely difficult. I feel trapped in constant doubt.

    Final Question:

    Is it really a requirement of hijab that clothing cannot be decorative or attractive?

    And if I believe that:

    a loose dress is valid hijab,

    even if someone may find it beautiful,

    does that in any way count as sin or istihlal?

    My life has become very, very difficult due to these doubts and technicalities. I sincerely want to follow Islam correctly, but I am feeling overwhelmed.

    Is Islam really meant to be this hard?

    I once felt like if doing hijab is so hard and I am not even sure whether dresses I wear is eniugh hijab or not then leave the hijab totally. Atleast I will be free fron the fear of istihalal. Because I will know in that case I am.doing sin.

    Dr. Irfan Shahzad replied 2 weeks, 1 day ago 2 Members · 3 Replies
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