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Divorce | Verdict / Opinion
I woke up after the sleep at 08:30 am and slept around 12:30 am previously, and saw the messages on WhatsApp in the morning. All messages were pleasant, as well-wishers. In one message I have received, there was “not important” in the message for third persons, not even in family. At the time I perceived “not important” that my views and opinion hold “not important”; however, “not important” was projected to third persons.
It hurted me that my views are of no importance and being denied like it had been in my life, or else. In my mind, I had been open to all of my views, thoughts with my best of communication skills with my spouse and with two words “not important” defies everything to me. I got angry that I am being lied and based on that sense I asked again and again. The facts were shared of recent update on our child behavioural report at school and I didn’t accept facts because how could it change in couple of days. Then there are intermittent messages on whatsapp until I received a message “What is your problem?”, I wrote “I divorce you” on whatsapp. I get incited again and again. Spouse responded and pointed the third person with the impact. I said “you are pointing me” and she said “I am not pointing at you”. Then she asked “and what is this?” to “I divorce you”. I couldn’t believe on the actual or current details on the children behavioural aspects of what is updated from spouse because how could it happen so fast? It was a delayed information and then “my feelings or emotions are hurt” with being “not important” in my views. Though, I have a pattern of making someone target for 16+ years which was developed my some external influence. This got heated and I went outside to call my spouse on the phone towards the park.
I started in heated moment until the word I heard “tameez”. This word provoked me into my nerves because I have been labelled that I have no tameez at all and it hurts. Among other things, I said “Should I give you divorce? I will have divorced you then.” in my mother tongue. Later my spouse didn’t reply and I keep saying all the pain behind tameez of all the events that had been happen so far. I had been walking here and there in the Park without realising where should I am going, I ensured that I am far from people because I am talking or shouting loud. I stayed there for like 40-60 minutes of walk, I have google map history to support this walk pattern. During that period, I rationalise and said in serious as well. Do you want us to separate or do you agree on that? There remains a silence and I said once more in serious and silence. There remain another silence and then I keep reiterating of the pain with these two things “not important” and “tameez”. Then I got exhausted and tired. I said to my spouse that have a glass of water to my spouse, she asked about a chore that she should go on Monday or not? I said you are tired and Monday is a rushhour day, Tuesday or Wedndesday will be better. She said that she is going to put the phone off.
In short:
The divorce had been a question or an intimidation. Not a verdict. Later after 10-15 minutes, I establish or led to a point where we can say that it can work or not, there remains a rational silence for the verdict. I asked my spouse and myself on this. I didn’t step in, and neither did she. The word divorce is echoing on the spouse. Though, I let her know that it was with “Shoud….” and “I will have….. by then!”
Consideration:
- Should it fall under (ghalaq, غَلاَقٍ), what should measure my anger and rationalism.
Question:
- What is the alignment, ruling, or verdict on divorce? Based on what?
- If you require any clarification, let us know.
Note:
- We are living far with 3 hour distance in different environments. Husband/Father in Europe and Wife/Mother in Subcontinent with two kids. We are having a Family Reunion Soon, though.
- I take mild to strong Bi Polar Medicines since 2010 and must drink Coffee to fully awake in morning.
- On this day, apparently I don’t remember if I drink the coffee or not, because I went outside after sending/receiving messages.
- I must sleep early as well, best before 10:00 pm otherwise my next day will be dizzy, depressed or exhausted
- This question/post is our combined effort for clarity on this.
- Attached is the walk patterrn, in dark blue, during the call.
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Divorce | Verdict / Opinion
updated 21 hours, 50 minutes ago
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Marriage is a contract, and divorce is an announcement to nullify it. Divorce must come with a serious and conscious intention. If you are suffering from some psychological problems, then in such cases, such utterances are not made with serious intention.
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