-
Life After Messing Up
The prophet was perfect he taught us everything
What he didn’t teach was what if some imperfect ummati messed everything up?
What should he do then. Just the idea of that makes life unbearable
-
16 Replies
-
Life After Messing Up
updated 2 weeks ago
3 Members
·
16
Replies
-
If it is a matter of ethics, that man should be asked to amend his ways, for his accountability awaits him.
If it is a matter of crime, then the law should take its course.
And if you are helpless against him, then leave the matter to the Day of Judgment, when justice will ultimately be served.
-
You misunderstand
A person made a mistake and messed up
He is extremely angry at himself for messing up
And the though of his past mistakes continuously haunt him
What would have the prophet done in this situation
-
If it is a matter of sin, one should sincerely repent and seek Allah’s forgiveness.
However, if it is simply a matter of misjudgment, one should learn from one’s mistakes, take the lesson to heart, and move forward.
-
What if it was not a mistake rather downright foolishness, which could’ve potentially wreaked havoc on that person’s life.
Moreover, it could’ve easily been avoided by simple common sense
There would be nothing to learn here, but it will still eat him up from inside.
I don’t find any experience of that kind in prophet’s life?
-
Assalamu Alaikum.I hope I have understood the question correctly and answered it according to what was actually being asked.I agree with Dr. Irfan Shahzad that if something is a sin, one should sincerely turn towards God, seek His forgiveness, and, where possible, make amends in this world.But I don’t think the matter should simply be reduced to whether a person was “wise” or “foolish.” God deals with us according to our understanding and capacity. At the same time, there are some simple principles that can help us avoid foolish or impulsive actions in our daily lives.For example, when it comes to a conversation, we should learn to pause and think before we speak. We should try to remain aware of our mental and emotional state instead of acting impulsively. More importantly, I don’t think our level of understanding is something fixed. We can improve our judgment, awareness, and ability to think.As the quote says _ Failure is a part of life. If you don’t fail, you don’t learn; if you don’t learn, you’ll never change.Perhaps, therefore, the answer to such a mistake is not to remain trapped in the thought, “How could I have been so foolish?” but to understand what happened, become more aware, and try not to repeat it.The past cannot be changed, but we are not necessarily the same person today who made that mistake. Perhaps moving forward means simply becoming wiser than the person we were when we made it.
-
personal note, I went through something similar. I became so depressed that I could hardly sleep at night. I would think about those things over and over every day. They were not even major sins, but rather some moral shortcomings. Yet, by thinking about them repeatedly, I eventually started seeing them as unbearable personal flaws.
I am doing much better now. I think things begin to change when we understand our “why” and become clear about the kind of person we want to become, especially in our character and conduct. -
What is Allah’s favored line of action, if someone is stuck in this kind of a situation?
-
lThe thing is that he messed up so bad that he normally wouldn’t have done it even if he was in his mid teens.
Just to add one more thing, a team member from work, close to leadership levelled a completely farce criminal accusation against him and he didn’t give a damn about it. The accusation was ridiculously fake and impossible. Although the accusation itself was nothing, but there was something noteworthy, he completely forgot about it just a few minutes later. Moreover, this forgetfulness started persisting. These events tend to stick with you even if you forget everything else, but the person remembered everything else except those events.
Now mix this “forgetfulness” with the above mentioned “foolishness syndrome” and the fact that both these phenonmenon only occured when the above mentioned context was brought up and also, the fact that his team members purposefully exploited this to lure him into messing up. All things considered it became a recipe of disaster for him. If you are ruthlessly fair, the team members themselves did nothing wrong.
I am sharing this to make you guys understand what he might be going through and why moving on has become so difficult. Because, he doesn’t trust himself now, there was nothing to learn here. He forgot things he shouldn’t have, did things he shouldn’t have.
To clarify one more thing, the person himself didn’t sin he was just criminally foolish.
What should he do now?
-
Continuing to punish yourself over one act of foolishness is itself another kind of foolishness. Accept that it happened, accept yourself, and then work on changing yourself.No amount of guilt can change the past, so please don’t let it ruin your present and your future as well.As believers, we believe that whatever happens ultimately happens by the will of God, and perhaps there is some wisdom in it that we may not understand at the moment. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t take responsibility for our actions; rather, we should accept what has happened, learn what we can, and move forward.This is just my personal advice. If this has become too overwhelming or is affecting your daily life significantly, please consider speaking to a counselor or someone qualified to help you through it.
-
First of all its not about me. Its about a person I know
Secondly, your advice is not of much help. He already know these things, the problem is not of moving on, moving on is the easier part, the problem is living with this version of himself that just messed up so big. These intrusive thoughts and memories kill you from inside, he tells me.
It destroys your self confidence you, he adds.
-
Dear @Irfan76
Please answer my question after reading the whole conversation above. Thank you
I want to understand Allah’s favored line of action.
-
This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by
Waleed Ahmed.
-
This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by
-
One more thing analogous to what maria pointed about her minor sins, my friend also mentions that after the fake criminal allegation (sexual harrassment), the alleger ( a woman) became close to him in order to understand him so that she can trap him.
As he had a condition of forgetting discussions specific to this context, hence he also got interested in her.
Also, in order to impress her and sound smart, he concocted quranic ayats and meanings multiple times infront of her. She googled it everytime but was still continuining in order to trap him.
Finally, the foolishness I am talking about is him telling his bank account details, debit card details, personal family matters (even embarrassing ones), Living his life with her on call and mobile speaker on and a plethora of other things which include secrets of other office colleagues that can damage their reputation) to her with the whole team on call.
Now here, a lot of words of explicit nature were exchanged between him and her infront of everybody, but as he was so involved in speaking he never recorded it and she recorded everything.
As a result, he has to face severe humiliation and isolation and adversity. The catch is that his parents and friends also know everything now and he is stuck and confused and don’t know what to do.
It is also to be noted that the woman tried to close the matter with mutual forgiveness multiple times but due to the fact that he forgot it, and both of them were downright arrogant, it wasn’t to be.
Afterwards, and before the involvement of his parents, they used to plan calls to trap him given his condition and humiliate him.
Now he doesn’t know what to do and what to feel, his family and close friends also think that he is a fool.
-
Dear brother,
You are advised to consult a psychiatrist.
-
It was not me. I communicated the same to my friend but he was adamant to know any spiritual solution for this
-
This reply was modified 2 weeks, 4 days ago by Waleed Ahmed.
-
This reply was modified 2 weeks, 4 days ago by
-
Moreover, he wants to know, the mistakes he made and what happened to him, do they cancel out or will it be considered his fault or will it be considered the fault of his team members?
Please do have a read @Irfan76
-
We provide no spiritual solutions.
Sponsor Ask Ghamidi
