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Engaged In Sexual Activity But No Vaginal Intercourse During Iddah
Assalamu Alaikum. I married my wife in 2017 when I was 22 and she was 19. After around 9 years of marriage, we had serious arguments this year and mutually decided to separate. During an argument, I said to her once, “I divorce you.” This was the only time I pronounced talaq.
During her ‘iddah, we became intimate twice and engaged in sexual activity, but there was no vaginal intercourse.
My questions are:
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Is the talaq still valid, or did this intimacy constitute ruju‘ (reconciliation)?
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If no vaginal intercourse had occurred during the ‘iddah, but during sexual activities both reached orgasm separately, would that itself constitute ruju‘, or would I also need to explicitly say that I have taken her back?
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My wife does not want to continue the marriage and wants to live independently. Does this affect the ruling?
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Her ‘iddah ends on 15 October 2026. What should we do before then, and what is our status after the ‘iddah ends if we do not reconcile?
Please guide us according to Islamic law, including any relevant differences between madhhabs, so that we do not unknowingly do anything incorrect.
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3 Replies
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Engaged In Sexual Activity But No Vaginal Intercourse During Iddah
updated 1 day, 13 hours ago
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Replies
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Ruju is a declaration that the divorce has been revoked, and marital intimacy likewise signifies the same. Intercourse is not necessary. If intimacy occurs during the ‘iddah period, she remains your wife. If she wishes to end the marriage, she must seek a khula.
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Even if there was no “niyyat” of ruju during this intimacy? This will be declared as ruju?
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It does not work that way. Intimacy means allowing the couple to resume their marital relationship.
Divorce is a serious decision to terminate the marriage contract. Whatever you decide to do, you should do it seriously and with a clear intention.
If your pronouncement of divorce was not serious, if it was momentarily pronounced during a heated argument, then no divorce took place in the first place. If it was serious, then ruju (reconciliation) has already taken place through the resumption of marital relations.
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