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  • Is Wife Prohibited From Refusing Sex With The Husband?

  • Umer

    Moderator June 25, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    On the basis of the following Hadīth, it is generally understood that if a wife refuses sex to her husband she will be cursed by the angels:

    عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ

    Abū Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: “When a husband calls his wife to bed, and she refuses and [as a result] the husband spends the night in anger, then angels curse the wife all night till dawn.”

    In order to understand this Hadīth, the following points need to be understood:

    Firstly, a husband and wife safeguard the chastity of one another by providing one another a legitimate means of satisfying the sexual urge. This protection of chastity is essential for the preservation of the family unit – the very institution on which the stability of a society hinges. Hence anything which puts chastity in jeopardy is disliked by the Almighty.

    Secondly, a man is an addressee of the directive mentioned in this Hadīth on an equal basis. This is evident from the directive of īlā mentioned in the Qur’ān (2:226-7) in which the Arabs of the pre-Islamic period would swear to sever sexual relationship with their wives because of anger. Although the husbands were prescribed a period of four months to decide the fate of their wives by either resuming these relations or divorcing them, it is evident from the directive that in normal circumstances a husband is not allowed to sever sexual relations with his wife without a valid reason. So much so, if a person swears such an oath, he must break it. Such relations are the right of a wife and if a husband does not fulfil them, then he can be regarded a criminal both in the eyes of the law and before the Almighty in the Hereafter.

    Thirdly, the basis of refusal by the husband or wife must also be taken into consideration. If either of them is tired, sick or simply not in the proper mood and in the appropriate frame of mind, then this does not entail any wrath of the Almighty. It is only when a spouse starts to deliberately evade such natural needs of the other that the attitude becomes questionable.

    (Dr. Shehzad Saleem)

  • Umer

    Moderator June 30, 2020 at 10:39 pm
  • Sameer Bhagwat

    Contributor July 20, 2020 at 7:54 am

    May I request for a narration where angels curse the husband also when he refuses sex with his wife ?

  • Sameer Bhagwat

    Contributor July 21, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    Repeating my post : -May I request for a narration where angels curse the husband also when he refuses sex with his wife ?

    • Ahsan Jalal

      Moderator November 11, 2020 at 10:36 pm

      This has been reported in
      al-Bukhaari, 4794; Abu Dawood, al-Sunan, Kitaab al-Nikaah, Bab haqq al-zawj ‘ala’l-mar’ah
      You can check narration chain from there

    • Sohail Kouser

      Member May 4, 2021 at 12:13 pm

      Checked 4794 Bukhari but its about some other topic

  • Saba Sara

    Member May 4, 2021 at 11:53 am

    What do you think about a wife who is overwhelmed and irritated with husband’s joblessness. What if she has to get up early for going to job and to prepare breakfast for children and lunch to take to school. What if her mind is filled with thoughts of how to meet children’s needs, and how to give best of the quality time and education to the children. What if she can not bring thoughts of love for her husband and only living with him for the betterment of children? And she also allows her husband for second marriage.

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