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Second Marriage Permission
Is it compulsory to ask 1st wife for second marriage?
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68 Replies
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Second Marriage Permission
updated 3 years, 8 months ago
8 Members
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68
Replies
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I don’t think Qur’an mentions it as a requirement to ask the permission of 1st wife, but dealing justly all wives is a requirement.
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What Sameer sahab stated above is correct – in Islam there’s no requirement for such a permission. However, in Pakistan according to the Muslim Family Ordinance, written permission of the first wife has be deemed mandatory.
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Yes this is to prevent the husband from living a double life and keeping his second marriage secret from his first wife and children
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I think the question is not about keeping it secret, but is the permission of the 1st wife required or not ..
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In Pakistan under our Muslim Ordinance Law it is
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As per my knowledge, it is not included in Islam
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I suppose the question is not about Pakistan, but about Islam.. I may be wrong though.
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We can not say it wrong but it is not compulsory as well
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Yes, asking the permission of 1st wife is not wrong.. we all agree. It is not mandatory in Islam, as you also mentioned, even though Pakistani law may be putting more restrictions over what Allah did.. many Muslim countries put restrictions on top of what Allah did..
If Allah had made it mandatory to ask 1st wife’s permission, then it could be questioned to those countries which did not make it mandatory.
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They are putting restrictions on beard also
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please see this:
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As a woman how am I suppose to feel at peace with my husband not telling me about his other wife(ves)? If this is not a mandatory requirement, then as a Muslim woman am I expected by Allah to just accept my husband’s second, third or fourth marriage without consent? I can’t even accept him going for cricket without telling me 😂
As a woman how do I make sense of this divine law which if ever true would ruin my life…
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Well, as a Muslim woman you have agreed to obey your husband, and your husband has agreed to treat all his wives justly . He can always inform you before going to watch cricket, but he is not supposed to take your consent or permission for it. Allah did not put your consent or permission as a requirement for him to do certain things, though as a good husband he should if he wants.
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“As a woman how do I make sense of this divine law which if ever true would ruin my life…”
Why would it ruin your life if the husband decides to marry another woman also ? As long as he informs you, and doesn’t keep you in dark about his other wives, and also promises to try and treat all his wives in a just manner, what is your problem ?
Remember, Allah did NOT say that man has to have multiple wives, it is a permission given to the man if he fulfills all the conditions of treating all his wives in a just manner.
I am not sure why his other marriages would ruin your life ..
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He need not inform me if he wants to go and watch cricket ( though he should) but under the Pakistani Muslim Ordinance law he better take my permission for a second wife. Or let the court take action against him if you complain which is not usually done! Children are involved and their lives are disrupted. If he has decided to marry again frankly either the first wife can decide to leave him, or accept the second wife with good grace. In the Arab world 2 -3 wives are common and I hear they live side by side happily serving their husband!
Sameer it is man’s World!!
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Pakistani ordinance law for taking 1st wife’s permission is not the law of Allah, it is a man made law.. just like blasphemy punishment law.
Allah didn’t think it was necessary for a man to take his 1st wife’s permission for it, though a man can take permission, if he likes to.
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I believe the Pakistani government has seen men abusing this right so has done extra law making which I don’t believe is not allowed
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That’s fine, but it shows Pakistani government can do something on their own.. it is not Islamic view. Why didn’t Allah consider that some men can abuse their rights?
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He did. That’s why He gave us the faculty of intellect and did not stop us from making laws to protect people in our societies.
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Did not stop us from making laws which God did not make on the same issue? God didn’t make it mandatory for taking the wife’s permission, but left it on the Pakistan govt. to make this extra prohibition ?
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The point is can a man treat 2-3 wives justly ? I don’t think so. Financially he can but not emotionally. It is natural to feel more for one wife than the others. The Prophet sws marriages were under certain circumstances prevailing at that time and were done with Allah’s directives. Today our brilliant men can just bring another pretty young woman home who has fallen for his charms!☹️
My simple question is why does a woman who knows the man is married wants to break his home and cause problems with his children? Aren’t there any bachelors left?😀
I blame the woman equally. ☹️
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It is not about Prophet alone, as he was a special person and he was able to treat around 9 wives justly. So, yes, certainly a man can treat the wives justly.
However, the polygamy permission law is for common believers, and not Prophets alone.
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A good husband is who cares the feelings of his wife.So honestly think can you do justice among your wives? And think about your emotional and spiritual relations I if you have with your wife. If you love her then Don’t push her in such situations if you have to face never bear it. Two three or four marriages are not farz think about the family you have and let your wife and children live a happy life. A happy and strong woman makes a happy and strong family. And our prophet (peace be upon him) also spent the best part of his life with only one wife Hazrat Khadija.
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I don’t think you can give Prophet’s example, because he was a special person.. (after Hazarat Khadija’s death, he married multiple women, so not sure why you list him as an example in favour of monogamy). Anyway, a Prophet is different than common men.
Polygamy is the permission given by Allah to common men (nobody claimed it was farz) with the condition that men will treat all his 4 wives justly, for example, he should not divide his inheritance differently among them..
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Totally agree with you Ayema!
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Though I have heard that in some parts of the Arab world women after their divorce have re married 2-3 times and it is totally acceptable. Has anybody else has any information regarding this?
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Sameer sb I am not sure if you are married, but your statement that I have signed up to “obey my husband” is not right 🙏 Marriage is an institution in which rebellion by either party won’t work. Please don’t spread misogynist approach in name of islam. You should study Prophet (saw) seera to know how a husband should be. He is not suppose to be a dictator.
Lastly, whether he tells me about cricket or not is not an “Islamic” issue. It’s about the marriage institution in which again I’m not his servant.
Let’s go back to the topic.
The question was that Allah has not made it mandatory for husband to take permission for 2nd marriage,. It does not matter if my AQL or Jazbaat accepts it. This is what we are talking about. Pakistan making laws to over rule Allah’s law is a different topic. We are discussing what Allah’s law is & how should women understand hiqmat behind it.
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Beenish ji,
I never said husband was a dictator .. but he is the head of your family. You signed up for marriage while agreeing to obey him and as long as he treats you and his other wife justly, it is his right to marry other women. I never said you were his servant either, but you should also respect his right to have other wives.
PS: Here I am not talking about you or your husband in particular, but in general.
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Please keep in mind that Prophet sws married several times for special reasons when there was war and widows were left . He also married to further his mission. In our times a man has to have a valid reason for marrying a second or third time. On top of it if he marries secretly without his wife’s permission then it is the ideal way of destroying his home life and peace of mind.! Which woman would like to share her husband with another woman?
If the tables were turned would a husband like his wife to have a second husband? I know this is not permitted but I’m just showing a picture
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“Which woman would like to share her husband with another woman?”
Are you saying that polygamy is injustice to women ?
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@Rafo I think your point is valid for today’s society and today’s women. But this was not and still is not the case in some parts of the world
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Are you saying women earlier were happy sharing their husband with other women but only now, in today’s society woman is having problems sharing her husband ?
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In tribal cultures this was a need of men to have many children. In Saudi Arabia women are (on the outside) happy and like friends with each other
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” In Saudi Arabia women are (on the outside) happy and like friends with each other”
On the outside.. hmm..
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Well I haven’t personally gone into their houses. Anyway this allowance of additional wives is exactly that- an allowance. It is no directive or command
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Rafia ji’s problem is with the allowance itself.
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Maybe @Rafo can clarify her position
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Yes, she can answer better , I just assumed from her statement.
““Which woman would like to share her husband with another woman?”
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The Qur’an has given permission for a second marriage under certain conditions one both the wives will be treated equally and justly. This is regard not only to financial well being, but emotionally too. He has to give both wives equal time. As far I can understand it is not possible for a husband to love all wives equally and give equal time and attention. Human nature is such. No man can be like Prophet sws.
Secondly a man may marry because he wants children and his wife cannot bear children. What bothers me is when a man take advantage of this permission and gets married because he has fancied a younger woman who is ready to break his home and become his second wife! And on top of it the marriage is kept a secret. That is the reason the State has imposed the law that a husband has to take permission from his first wife to marry again.
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“As far I can understand it is not possible for a husband to love all wives equally and give equal time and attention. Human nature is such”
What is the point of giving permission if such conditions are impossible ?
“That is the reason the State has imposed the law that a husband has to take permission from his first wife to marry again.”
Hmm.. so Pakistan state has laws other than what God decided ?
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First point I disagree- outwardly the love and time should be the same. I believe inwardly you can’t control your heart but you shouldn’t let that influence your dealings.
As time moves forward new issues may arise and we have to make laws to prevent the infringement of rights
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“As time moves forward new issues may arise and we have to make laws to prevent the infringement of rights”
Why didn’t Allah think of these issues while framing the laws ?
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@faisalharoon @UmerQureshi why does the state have a right to make these laws?
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What rights are you questioning ?
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Your dealings are automatically affected by your emotions. So outwardly your love cannot be the same. You can give equal time but not love. Infringement of rights has already been done by the second marriage. A husband has a right to marry a second time under special circumstances. If you can’t treat both wives equally in all respects the permission is negated.
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“A husband has a right to marry a second time under special circumstances”
What special circumstances are those?
“If you can’t treat both wives equally in all respects the permission is negated.”
Unless he marries the other wife, how will he know he CAN’T treat them equally ? Before marriage he thinks he can.. but some situation become clear only after marrying 2nd wife.
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The verse 33:36 should be helpful here:
It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.
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This is not for a second marriage
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I know, but it is a general command.
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Having second wife is better than having haram relationships. Second and third marriage is not a fun it’s a big responsibility A man should know he cannot perform it by paying money every child needs love, affection and attention of his father. And if the husband and wife love and respect each other then there is no place for other wife like you know hazrat Ali had no other wife during the life of Hazrat Fatima. The permission for second marriage in Pakistani law is only restriction because some people are taking advantage wrongly. In other Islamic countries there is no such kind of restriction.
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The condition for Hazrat Ali(a.s) was special. Hazrat Muhammad sws has prohibited that there should be no other woman in comparison with Prophet’s daughter. You can better take example of other Sahaba also
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Why no other wife in comparison with Prophet’s daughter? Why special preference to her and not other women ?
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A father today can also include this in the nikah of his daughter (of course if she and the groom also accepts it)
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Was this condition put in the nikah-nama of Hazarat Fatima and Hazarat Ali ?
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I don’t know probably
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Then does it make sense for Prophet to prohibit his son-in-law to not marry other women ?
BTW, I know that Prophet didn’t prohibit Hazarat Ali for this purpose.. he did it because Ali wanted to marry a particular woman (daughter of enemy of the Prophet), and he didn’t like it.. so in order to respect Prophet’s wish, he restrained himself from that marriage.
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No.1 I don’t know if it was written
No.2 evidence please
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So the problem is?
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What problem ? You asked for evidence and I provided you..
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Your original statement is wrong if you take that website to be true. He did not prohibit- it was an expression of what he wanted
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When did I say Prophet prohibited it ?
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It seems you have got your answer from the website
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I replied to the comment made by the previous poster that Prophet prohibited it. It is not my view.. and I asked a question.
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In any case, this whole incident shows that Prophet was angry for sometime with Ali’s decision of marrying someone else, the fact that Ali didn’t marry ANYONE till Fatima was alive, shows that he wanted special preference for his daughter.
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A wife cannot bear children, the husband wants children. One special reason for a second marriage
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There is no such condition for husband that he has to have a “reason” for having second wife.. only condition is he should be able to treat all his wives in a just manner.. so if he has 4 wives, he should distribute his inheritance equally among all 4 wives, and not favour one over the other 3.
Obviously, it may happen that a wife who gives him children, is more dear to him than the one who doesn’t..
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