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Quran 4:34 – Examples Of Nushooz Towards Husband
Ghamidi Sb. has explained ‘nushooz’ word from Surah Nisa 4:34 as rebellion, or refusing to acknowledge the authority of the husband. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make it clear which actions can be considered as Nushooz, and without that clarity, any person can define it for himself as per his whims.
Therefore I think examples of what kind of behaviour can be considered as Nushooz towards the husband from the wife are important. Ghamidi Sb. hints in one of his videos that an extramarital affair is one such example.
My question is, are there less serious acts which could fall within the definition of Nushooz? Some examples of problematic behaviour from the wife towards husbands that often happen in domestic life include repeated disobedience, or leaving the house against the husband’s wishes, or talking to certain people he has forbidden you to talk to, or calling him names, or intentionally ignoring/refusing to talk to him, etc. Do any of these fall within the definition of Nushooz?
And if they don’t, and it is only referring to extramarital affairs, then why wasn’t there a more direct/clear word to express it in the verse in the Quran which would avoid the confusion.
I planned to ask this in Ask Ghamidi Live but my turn couldn’t be reached. I would really appreciate if you would bring this question to Ghamidi Sb.
The reason I am asking this question is that already this verse poses difficulty to people as it seems to justify domestic violence. It would be less difficult to rationalize/understand its Hikmat if it was restricted to very extreme situations such as the wife committing Zina, which is already a crime under Islamic law. If however, it could apply broadly to other situations, such as the wife calling husband names and the husband being justified in using violence in response, after having tried the earlier steps prescribed in Surah Nisa 4:34, then that be harder to defend.
In any case, I am only explaining this for context. My main question is about the limits of ‘Nushooz’.
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Quran 4:34 – Examples Of Nushooz Towards Husband
updated 3 years, 3 months ago
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Please watch this discussion
https://www.facebook.com/javedahmadghamidi/videos/2860656314167101/
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Please watch this session
https://www.facebook.com/javedahmadghamidi/videos/2860656314167101/
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This topic was discussed at length here along with this specific question posed by you:
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@UmerQureshi @Yaseen
Thanks for your answers. I have watched this and other videos of Ghamidi Sb. on the subject, but it doesn’t answer my question. Even in this last video, Ghamidi Sb. mentions rebellious attitude, and hints that extra marital affair by the wife is an example of it, but this doesn’t provide clarity on whether there are other behaviours by the wife which could also be considered ‘rebellious attitude’ or nushooz is limited to extra marital affairs. And without this clarity, really anyone can interpret any mildly serious action to be nushooz in their domestic life. For example, if a husband has forbidden the wife from talking to a particular person or leaving the house without his permission, and she does that, despite his repeated warnings, then the husband might be convinced that that is Nushooz. From watching the videos above, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. It really isn’t clear as the examples given are only of extreme situations, such as putting more salt in food on the one end, and having an affair on the other, without considering the more complex grey areas that occur in practical life. It seems from the examples provided that everything else is just left to the husband’s whim, and I don’t think/hope this to be the case. So I just want to understand this word and its application and its boundaries more precisely. Please refer to this part of my question above.“My question is, are there less serious acts which could fall within the definition of Nushooz? Some examples of problematic behaviour from the wife towards husbands that often happen in domestic life include repeated disobedience, or leaving the house against the husband’s wishes, or talking to certain people he has forbidden you to talk to, or calling him names, or intentionally ignoring/refusing to talk to him, etc. Do any of these fall within the definition of Nushooz?“
With respect, this still remains unanswered. Would really appreciate if you could think about this as it has been on my mind for a long time.
Jazakallah Khair -
There are few things if kept in mind, may prove helpful in understanding Ghamidi Sahab’s perspective on the matter.
– In matters of practical nature related to human life, it is not always possible to present an exhaustive list of all scenarios at one place. Any attempt if so made, would always render such list irrelevant with passing time, because of changes in culture, customs, norms and progress of civilization as a whole. That is the very reason the same approach has been adopted by religion as well; whether it be dietary prohibitions, ethical prohibitions and others. The same is the case with directives of positive nature, for instance, in matters of Diyat, Mehar and sustenance for divorcee, the word ‘maruf’ has been used. The application has been left to collective consciousness of society but within the overall boundary of maruf.
– When it comes to matter of nashuz, the same approach has been adopted. In fact, in order to prevent its exploitation, strong preventive controls have been put in place i.e. the first two steps. It is this application of first two steps (let’s say it be any disagreement) which would make sure most of the times that either issue would be resolved or if not, it would’ve reached some other kind of conclusion. This is exactly the point Ghamidi Sahab is making, that it is not like every disagreement will necessarily result in nushuz. The application of first two steps will in most cases either by involvement of family or society will settle down most of such disagreements. An exhaustive list is not possible for Nashuz because not disagreement is Nashuz or will not necessarily reach to the level of Nashuz.
– The domestic violence that occurs unfortunately does not have anything to do with these Quranic verses. Most of the times, Muslim Husbands resorting to such violence are not doing it considering it a religious directive and rarely, even if someone does consider it religious, they do not adhere to first two steps and jump right to the last step. These are merely impulsive actions of uneducated Muslims and have nothing to do with religion. If someone uses cover of religion to maintain their dominance, then they’re doing a great disservice to religion and will be held accountable for this oppression.
Please watch the above video again from 30:23 to 31:46 in the light of above discussion.
And still, if it doesn’t satisfy your query, you are free to register for the next live event and ask this question personally to Ghamidi Sahab.
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Please don’t present an exhaustive list. Just give one hypothetical example in which the advices mentioned in 4:34 can be employed
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@UmerQureshi Jazakallah for your reply. It’s helpful to understand your perspective on this, and I really appreciate you taking the time to go through my questions and respond so thoroughly. All the best to the Ask Ghamidi and Ghamidi Center of Islamic Learning Team!
I will try to get my question in for Ghamidi Sb. at the next live event. 🙂
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