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  • Promises With People

    Posted by Habiba Zafar on January 1, 2022 at 1:54 pm

    Assalam O Alaikum

    I had a friend(a female friend)….we both were friends for many years….she is MashaAllah a good character girl …we were togather for many years…

    Suddenly a strange event took place…my mother said me not to talk to her…basically my mama is very protective for me…she really wants to secure me from any harm but sometimes she goes overprotective…by saying “overprotective” i just want to mention her state of protection and not disrespecting her at all…my mama have had a GREAT MISUNDERSTANDING about my that friend…and she asked me not to talk to her from my phone and always talk to her from her phone…well this was kind of awkward so i resisted and talked to my mama very respectfully to explain her that she is not having a right opinion about my friend…I know she is very innocent but my mama wants me not to talk to her in privacy….so because my mama is a bit strict so just to make the environment of my home i willingly promised her that i won’t contact my friend…i tried to convince her logically that her assumptions about my friend were wrong but my mother’s insecurities didn’t let her take any logic

    I wanted to really talk to my friend today…we were togather for many years in our childhood…..i was missing her badlyy…so secretly i talked to her(my friend) from my phone….am i sinful for breaking this promise with my mama?….but i broke it because i knew that the reason she is stopping me is not LOGICAL AT ALL…but only her worries about me…

    And can i really talk to my friend again from my phone..as there is obviously no haram …she is my childhood friend…

    The only worry I am having is that ..i broke my promise and during Salah i really got worried about my akhira…as i broke my promise..my only question is that.am i sinful for doing so?….i know i broke a promise …but as i earlier mentioned that there was not a VALID REASON my mother stopped me from talking to her and made me do that promise…but i did it willingly in the past and cant comtinue to keep that promise as i swear i miss my friend and want to talk to her and keeo in touch with her (from my phone) as privacy is my right!!!

    Please do tell me …am i sinful for such an approach and for breaking my promise (eventhough the reason i made a promise) was not logical???

    Sorry to really bother you people but i was really worried and I wabted an alim or a religous student/scholar to guide me in this regard…our religion also tells us to seek help…

    JazakAllahu Khair

    Habiba Zafar replied 2 years, 2 months ago 2 Members · 4 Replies
  • 4 Replies
  • Promises With People

    Habiba Zafar updated 2 years, 2 months ago 2 Members · 4 Replies
  • Habiba Zafar

    Member January 1, 2022 at 2:01 pm

    Do we have to keep promised with people (like in my case my mama) which we WILLINGLY DO but are not of any logical reasons???

  • Habiba Zafar

    Member January 1, 2022 at 2:09 pm

    And do we have to necessarily tell the person we made promise to (as my mama)that we broke it?

  • Umer

    Moderator January 1, 2022 at 5:24 pm

    Quran has not asked us to obey every command of parents, instead, we are required to deal with them in a good manner (husn e salook) and can disagree with their decisions in a polite and respectful manner.

    For further details on boundaries of obedience to parents, please see:

    Discussion 56561

    The right approach would be to not institute any such promise in front of your parents, no matter how illogical was their demand. Instead try to convince your parents by presenting your side of the arguments. And if they don’t agree, then you can politely disagree with their decision or you can stay silent instead of making a fake promise, as this would tantamount to deception if you ever break it.

    What you can do is tell your mother that you did talk to your friend because you miss her and not talking to her affects you mentally, and therefore you won’t be able to hold on to your old promise. You can clarify any misconceptions she has about your friend. In any case, it is not recommended to make a fake promise.

  • Habiba Zafar

    Member January 1, 2022 at 6:08 pm

    Ok brother….Thank you sooo much….I was very worried….I just want to say that MashaAllah TabarakAllah this app is really making me closer to Allah…I ask questions and you people reoly me the best way you can…again JazakAllahu Khair to all the people working here and Ghamidhi uncle as well….I will soon tell my mama….amd do the way you suggested….

    May Allah reward you people

    JazakAllahu Khair Brother!

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