I have intellectually accepted that I will be answerable to Allah one day. So naturally I must seek forgiveness for my sins and avoid more sins as much as I can, and seek repentance if I fail each time. However, by default I do not feel that afraid of the consequences once I am satisfied with my effort to repent and avoid sins i.e I am more focused, by default, that Allah is loving, forgiving and merciful that can punish me so I should avoid angering Him but until I sin or have sinned but neglected my repentance, by default I feel secure and eager to meet Him on Day of Judgment, that I am hopeful that Inshallah, I will suceed in His test but I keep up my precautionary measures against sin and repentance in case I might fail but I am more hopeful than afraid.

My question is that is my understanding of fearing Allah and attitude correct? Because I hear people crying or shakened by fear of Allah. One incident I remember was a Sahabah seeing an heated iron being hit by a blacksmith and they thought of Hell and started crying. I’m not sure if I have that nor I understand how you can be hopeful and fear of Allah at the same time. Fear of angering Allah takes me when I am near sin or have committed but when I am not, I am hopeful that Allah will forgive but I’m not sure if I have both hope and fear at the same time, one seems to dominate the other at the given stage. Is it normal or a misunderstanding of the concept?