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Religious Obligation On Stopping A Girl From Marrying A Toxic Man
So I know of a girl who is getting married to a very toxic divorced man – from cheating, to stealing money to drinking and text infidelity, he has done it all in his last marriage. And this is not long ago, that one can argue that perhaps the man has changed and deserves a new chance at life.
My question is – what is my responsibility in letting the girl know that the man she is marrying is not right for her?
I believe it is my responsibility but then I will definitely become the bad guy in front of everyone.
Honestly, that doesn’t concern me as much as God’s judgement. So what does God ordain in such matters?
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3 Replies
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Religious Obligation On Stopping A Girl From Marrying A Toxic Man
updated 1 year, 2 months ago
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I think Ghamidi Sahab advice regarding an issue related to marriage in this video below will help understand what should be done. Basically, it is best to reveal everything including any problematic history before marriage so the future wife can mentally prepare or save herself and the families, trouble.
Also keep in mind that marriage in Islam is supposed to be for the child’s sake. Allah wants future children to be born in a good family, so if the character of one spouse isn’t good and does not guranatee stability in the couple then it is best avoid tying such a knot and refrain from making a mockery of this holy institution i.e this is not just a case of wife and husband, children must be kept in mind, that is what Allah demands.
0:13 – 1:07
https://youtu.be/6H2cGdnItLI?t=13 -
And to further clarify, if your knowledge is solid about the future husband and the girl is close to you then you may warn her. If she is a close relative then it is your responsibilty but if not then it would be a great favor in eyes of God if you go out of your way to help her. As long as your intentions are good and your knowledge is good, you need not to worry about what people may think of you. But if the situation is dangerous, you may choose to remain silent and protect yourself if it is just a favor but if she is a close relative then I don’t think remaining silent is acceptable.
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It only becomes your obligation to disclose such matters when you are specifically asked about the person you know in the context of marriage (or for any other genuine need that may arise). In other cases, one can opt any other indirect mean, if one chooses, to communicate their concern to help their friend in a way it communicates the core message and does not result in violation of someone’s privacy as an unneeded disclosure of their sins.
For comments of Ghamidi Sahab, please refer to the video below from 00:45 to 1:26 AND from 3:47 to 6:08
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