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Shared Financial Responsibility Without Husband Being Head Of The Family
If it can be a case that the man and woman decide in between that they both will support family financially and martially together and won’t burden each other will it still be the responsibility of man to provide for house when they both agreed to same agreement,,, if that can be the case that a man and woman can decide between themselves what is comfortable to them will they be showing disobedience to Qur’an by doing that???
Or it is normal,,, and will be divide responsiblity between both of them as they agreed upon,,,,, and does the rule also applies to other martial conditions which a man or woman may mention to eachother before marrying
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18 Replies
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Shared Financial Responsibility Without Husband Being Head Of The Family
updated 8 months, 1 week ago
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18
Replies
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Please refer to the video below from 54:43 to 59:25
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Please also refer to the video below from 27:55 to 30:29
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My question is still there, , , I never said that a man won’t be the head of a woman starts to contribute in his responsibilities, the second video was upon my question,, jazakallah but I didn’t understand one thing that i know it’s important that someone should be a head but if a couple decide between them before marriage that they won’t interfere in eachothers individual choices instead will support eachother and won’t be a obstacle to their career or goals, will they be showing disobedience to Qur’an? And can a woman can be a head of house , if she does so , will it be a sin? And as it is ethically said that a woman can’t go outside without her husband’s permission,, this is the thing I have heard so much , even my sister was suffering because of this norm ,,, I want to know like if they both set their rules before marrying and mention their conditions before each other , would it be going against Qur’an??? The conditions and terms aren’t about that one won’t be the head of house it’s about other martial conditions and it’s results,,, jazakallah for the answer above,,,
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Whatever terms and conditions a couple decides at the time of their nikah, those conditions are binding on all the parties to the contract lest they decide something which goes against the reality of Nikah (Haqiqat-e-Nikkah), for example, adding a Mutah clause goes against the reality of Nikkah and similarly creating an institution of family without a head with clear financial responsibilities also goes against the reality of Nikkah.
Please also refer to the video below from 1:16:53 to 1:21:03
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Jazakallah for the answer,,,,
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But if instead of they decided about a head what if they decide about that they’ll support eachother in their responsibilities and goals,, would it be a healthy decision
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Yes this is healthy indeed and they should do that. However, for resolution of disputes in future, it is mandatory that one person should be nominated who will be held accountable for not providing for the children. There is no need to call that person head of the family in explicit words but that person who will be responsible to earn will be defacto head of the family. Islam does not treat Nikkah as a partnership, rather it is an institution in the sight of Islam with one head of the family who has some additional responsibilities and some additional rights as well.
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Yes allhumdulilllah I understood, jazakallah,, but brother here I want ask this that if it is an obligation to obey the head , like the head can be also wrong as we all are humans,, obligation does comes responsiblity about sin
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It is obligatory for wives to be adaptable and obedient to husbands in his capacity as head of the family. This does not mean that a husband has complete control over his wife and can demand anything from her and a wife must obey all such demands. This adaptability and obedience means that when a Husband is making a genuine decision as head of a family, then wife should try to be supportive of that decision and should not try to hamper it intentionally just to cause trouble. Take an example, a husband cannot ask his wife to do a job and earn, if he does so, then wife has every right to reject that demand. However, when a husband has to relocate for job purposes to another city or country with his family, then wife must cooperate and relocate with him. This falls as a genuine decision made by husband as head of the family.
In case of genuine diasgreements, a wife can say no but she cannot commit rebellion against husband. Take an example of a child who diagrees with his parents decision regarding his education and has rejected their demands in this regard because it was not a genuine demand from the parents, but he cannot do anything more than that. His rejection is enough in these circumstances, if he starts shouting or beating his parents then this would tantamount to rebellion which is a grave sin in Islam. Islam has no room for rebellion, whether it is done by a citizen against his state, a wife against his husband or a child against his parents.
Further details on Rights And Obligations Of The Spouses:
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And what are the additional rights of the heads kindly mention, ,,,,
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But are we obliged to treat eachother always having this in minds that a man is the head, it can be our father too right,, but the situations u mentioned earlier are normal and casual which any supportive spouse would do , so is the main purpose of the whole thing is being supportive,??
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It is true a spouse can demand little thing they dislikes about their partner they can ask for cooperation,,, but the far I understood as the head of the family a man can take decisions which is related to family,, but what about individual choices like a man can have his own individual choices which are not related to family,,, or a wife can have her own choices too which can be her own individual choices,,, so do a man have that much authority over a woman that he can take decisions for his wife on anything,, but won’t it kill the individuality of a woman and won’t it destroy the purpose of a man being the head of the family,,, he can take decisions for family and woman are demanded to support it with them in order for peace or they can reject peacefully too, rightt,
Kindly answer my above confusion
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It is recommended to settle all these matters before hand which a wife-to-be have concerns about and which a husband-to-be have concerns about. It must be kept in mind that entering into Nikkah would be mean end of freedom in some personal matters for both husband and wife. For instance, a husband cannot choose to not provide for the family because of his personal preference and similarly, a wife cannot choose to take a personal decision which affects the smooth working of a family unit. Islam creates a family unit for the next generation to come and it means that individuality of both husband and wife will be affected by this decision in certain domains of their lives. Other than this sphere, both husband and wife are free to choose whatever suits their personality. Any demand being made outside of this sphere would be unreasonable and proper channels can and should be used to intervention.
In future, if husband or wife think that their personal freedom has been affected beyond their expectation because of the marriage, then there is always room open for separation through divorce.
As a default principle, a husband is responsible to provide for the family and a wife is required to be supportive of her husband in smooth running of the family unit. If the couple decided to reverse roles at the time of Nikkah, they can do that. If the head of a family is being unreasonable then there are ways to intervene through elders of the family, but the hierarchy of a family structure needs to be maintained at all instances.
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Yes I understood,,,
So the basic reason of whole thing is to have a peaceful life according to each other and do cooperate in order to raise the next generation??
And a person can do adjustments according to each others goals , ambitions or personality,, and can decide conditions before marriage
And can part their ways if they don’t find peace,,
Rightt,,
But if a man says not to make your career to a woman,
Would she be obligated to do so?? It’s being so personal
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If it is something which was not agreed upon at the time of marriage then it is a matter of negotiation between the two. A woman cannot just start her career out of thin air on her whims just the way a hsuband cannot change his career out of thin air on his whims which might affect his ability to feed the family. Both of these situations, if arise, need to be discussed between the two and if there is no resolution, then the matter can be referred to the elders of the family for a peaceful resolution.
It is a general advice to a wife to be cooperatove with husband, but it is for a wife to honestly decide which matters require genuine cooperation and which matters are an unnecessary intrusion into her private life for which she should say no and involve the elders if husband is being unreasonable.
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So a woman has fully right to say no when she think it’s needed ofcourse right????
Like a man and woman both have their own both values and principles of their life’s
Both shouldn’t violates it ,,
Right
I understood,,
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Yes, but there should be no open rebellion, instead the right hierarchy should be followed.
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Yes I understood,,
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