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Ties Of Kinship – Maintaining It With Seconds Cousins Feels Too Far-fetched
Hi, I understand the importance of maintaining ties of kinship and not severing them based on Quranic verses. But some scholars when discussed this topic with, tell us to maintain the ties, with relationships that go upto second cousins or even farther – as in staying in contact with them. I feel overly burdened by this as I am already an introvert who likes spending time mostly alone and doesn’t have energy to socialize a lot with others.
I would talk to my aunts, uncles and some cousins (who live nearby) every now and then but not a lot, just to keep the ties afloat. But I don’t even know my second cousins, I only know the brothers of my grand father and really no one else related further to them and it feels fine to me and I believe my second cousins don’t care either. While I know I must not cut ties with anyone no matter how far their relation is from me but I can’t stay in contact with others so much. As an example, I will talk to my aunts in like maybe a 2-3 months and they seem to be fine with it however they do feel bad sometime if I prolong this too much. I also really hate it when there is a very distant relative who might have met me when I was like 3 years old and then never really talked to me and then meets me in some marriage after 20 years and asks me if I remember him, if I don’t, humiliates me in front of others, like what can I say?
Also, there used to be some people in my life whom I used to think of as my true friends but they changed and did things that caused me to stop trusting them. I have forgiven them but I don’t consider them friends anymore (not out of anger) because it doesn’t make sense to me to consider them friends if the trust is lost. Is this also severing of ties?
I need some guidance on this please, I’ll highly appreciate it 🙂
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2 Replies
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Ties Of Kinship – Maintaining It With Seconds Cousins Feels Too Far-fetched
updated 7 months, 1 week ago
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Replies
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To have ties with relatives does not necessarily mean paying a visit to them off and on and there are no such rules about how far a relationship with a relative should be kept alive by seeing him or her again and again. Now, who to meet with and When to meet is a personal choice and can be discussed to reach a common solution.
the purpose is to behave well with your relatives and help them in need. Now with whom you feel comfortable is the matter of compatibility.
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Thank you, I appreciate the help
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