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Doubts About Feeling Of Lust And The Purpose Of Marriage
Sawal ilmi aur nafsiyati k sath bhi juda hai ! Muqtalif ulama k muqtalif nazariyat aur araah aur nafsiyati khadsheh ki wajah se social aur family relations & dealings me inteahi hissasiyat paida hogai hai gender interaction k masle par ! Kisi relative ya co fellow of opposite gender se bath karne ya dekh ne baad khushi ya peace ka ahsas hotu is bat ka khauf lahiq horaha hai k ye lust ki wajah se hai ! Halaka iam sure it’s because of love affection and kineship ! Kisi k jamiliyat ki tareef kardu to b ye lust ki wajh se koi meri tareef karde tab b yahi guilty ! Ulama ki muqtalif araa sunte hue dil itmenaan me b aata hai aur kisi ki extrime opinion sun k wapas se khauf me ! Iam about to end up making decisions of marriage q k jab Lust hi hai jo mard to aurat ki taraf pasandigi paida karta hai ! To isme wafa aur mohabbat kaha se aagyi?.iam suffering from OCD. As well yet besides medication agar ilmi lihaz se mazeed aur rahmumaai ho to ulama aur ahle ilm se guzarish hai k mutawazin aur tasalli baqsh jawab tajweez karein @Irfan76 @UmerQureshi @codename.AJK @faisalharoon
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5 Replies
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Doubts About Feeling Of Lust And The Purpose Of Marriage
updated 1 week, 2 days ago
2 Members
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5
Replies
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There are two points that must be kept in mind:
1). As far as doubts and specially OCD oriented doubts are concerned, it is advised to every such person experiencing them to ignore such thoughts as much as possible because most of the times such doubts are not real and have no basis in them and they also impact the psychological and social life of the person. Unless there is something tangible, such doubts should be ignored and we Muslims should only follow rational understanding of religion which we honestly believe to be true because our accountability depends on our knowledge and on aur actions based on this knowledge and we should not betray our conscience. To understand this point further, Quran 2:286, Quran 5:48 (Discussion 79805) and Quran 2:187 (https://www.javedahmedghamidi.org/#!/quran?chapter=2¶graph=88&type=Ghamidi) should be read carefully.
2). As far as this specific issue which was asked in the question is concerned, it must be kept in mind that as long as one stays clear from Major sin of adultery and other open vulgarities (i.e. the ones which involves exposure of private parts in front of a non-eligible person etc.) then Allah has promised that He will forgive all minor sins in these domains with his mercy. It is a great virtue to be conscious of even minor lapse while interacting with the opposite gender but in case one thinks that one has erred in a certain interation and his eyes may be slipped in the wrong direction, then such unintentional lapses will Insha’Allah be forgiven by Allah if one stays clear of the major sins. See Quran 42:37 (https://www.javedahmedghamidi.org/#!/quran?chapter=42¶graph=19&type=Ghamidi).
Also lust is not always a bad feeling, it can be a useful emotion when used in the right way. It is because if this feeling, male and female get attracted to each other in a way which leads to future generation and hence human population grows. Love and affection are also very valuable feelings and they also develop with time. Both these feelings are useful for both human growth and for growth of human population, it is the balance which is required in religion when dealing with these feelings and for this balance, Islam wants these feelings of both lust and love to be excercised through an institution of marriage so that any extreme form that these feelings may lead to, should be countered via institution of marriage by putting them an umbrella of responsibility which will ensure proper balance in expression of these feelings.
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Sir I agre with you!
The doubt is ,it is well known to everyone including me , that lust is a crucial part of marriage but besides that initially if some one love opposite gender by not letting each other go under influence of these sexual desires, example pasandigi jo hoti hai ek dusre ki taraf to have feelings of love , affection & getting peace & happiness with Good intentions ,while looking & interacting with each other!
Prior to marriage,
Is that too consider as lust full feelings? When one is clear about that it is not. ! Just asking biologically is it possible to love or like someone without under influence of sexual desires &to your potential spouse or any relatives like cousins or friends?
Iam getting frequent thoughts & fear that no it’s not love or affection or fondness its completely lust lust lust ! Iam getting sacre I mean, cant I have feelings of love & affection besides this sexual desires for anyone? especially towards one whom I wanna secure my future?
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Yes it is possible to have feelings of love and affection without lust. We love our parents, siblings and our kids without any such feeling. As far as one’s spouse is concerned, then it is not always lust, it is genuine love and affection and yes, lust also plays a vital role in certain matters and in such matters expression of lust is not wrong. For other people in the opposite gender who are not spouse and still eligible for marriage legally or from religious point, Islam suggests norms of gender interaction so that if lust starts to surge, then it can be contained by following those etiquettes. Feeling lust is not wrong but expressing it in front of wrong people is a sin. Besides, lust is not the kind of feeling which exists all the time, but whenever one feels it at wrong occasions, one is required to suppress it. Staying in these bounds is what is required in Islam.
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@UmerQureshi ap ki baat se ittefaq karta hoon iam honestly ashamed of asking the question again & again,but literally iam saying this ,when ever I feel presence of opposite gender unconsciously I get into a some kind of fear & as a result of that those urge starts dominating me i cant able to look at them bcz of this condition,women means just a fitna ,i couldn’t able to admit their presence their appearance their interaction with me in a healthy way,I feel iam i commiting adultery of eyes or tongue or ear? Earlier it wasn’t like that at all I could able to distinguish between what is sexual attraction & ordinary human admiration towards something which good or beautiful in respectful way,
Mai bata nahi sakta bhai akhir kaise is nafaiyat se bahar aaon,basa auqat ye shukook apne mahramo ki taraf khud apni zaath ki taraf b aisa khayalat aate hai jab aina dekhta hoon ,all just bcz ulama se suna tha fitna fitna fitna, har waqt ek hi nazar se aurat ko dekhna chahiye aur wo lust aur k liye nikah karo siwai iske there nothing in between them, socially isolate raho,what should I dont understand,har waqt yehi khauf ya iska khayal,
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Iskai liya apko khud hi mehnat karna hogi aur apna zawiya nazar badalna hoga. Jab puranay moaqqaf ki apko ghalti wazeh hogae hai toh phir uskai baray main soochna bh chor dain. Ismain thori mushkil hogi laikin ahista ahista aap aisay khayalat par qabo paa lain gai. Jitni bh mushkil hoo, asal kaam toh sabar karna hai aur aisay jazbat ki tehzeeb karna hai. Aap kosish jaari rakhain, Insha’Allah, Allah ki madad bh shamil-e-Haal hojaye gi. Bila-Zarurat aur fazool kai waswasay jhatak diya karain, inka yahi aik elaj hai. Ahista Ahista yai bh khatam hoo jayen gai.
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