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How Do I Be Grateful To An Abusive Parent?
God tells us to be grateful to our parents. Is this said in general sense? Because how one can be grateful to a father who beats his children out of anger and hatred and causes life long mental health issues? I mean yes, the father provides but the oppression like this is a major sin and it is hard to justify this oppression with what he provides. One could step back in terms of being personal and just be respectable and forgive but being grateful or even loving is difficult here
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4 Replies
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How Do I Be Grateful To An Abusive Parent?
updated 1 year, 4 months ago
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Assalam-o-Alaikam. It is rare that parents are abusive, unless they are themselves in a great stress or having psychological issues. In such case, it is difficult to blame them. The best, if possible, is to avoid encountering them and staying quiet or respond as little as possible. Remember we are in a test, we need to pass our test.
I have had situation that some very successful parents themselves were the outcome of very tough parents. They believe that being tough on their children is the right thing for children’s future. So they pretend to be angry and tough, yet they love their children a lot. They fail to realize that kids in European countries are too soft and emotionally fragile. They take their parents toughness as abuse.
Regardless of all this, we need to be always thankful to Allah and respectful to our parents. This is our duty. If you look around you will find your situation better than millions of other people.
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Thanks for the reply 🙂 But I don’t think that only “european children” are too soft. Every child is soft and emotionally fragile since he is powerless until he reaches the age where he can take care of himself and protect himself. It is easily recognizable also that a child is fragile just by looking at his reaction but parents still abuse. Please don’t try to cover their sins like this. If the abused son fights back and hurts his father that would also be due to stress and not accountable according to your opinion. What you should do is be just. Admitting that yes, they committed a major sin but if the affected son forgives them, he will be rewarded otherwise he might become rebellious and make his nafs impure due to arrogance. Parents ask God to give them a son and then they abuse him when He grants their wish. It is equally as heinous a crime when the son is powerless and young and parents abuse him and when the parents are powerless in their old age and the son abuses them
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please see Discussion 50667 • Reply 50800
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Thank you
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